A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
I can only compensate so much for other people's stupidity.
If plugging it in doesn't help, then try turning it on.
You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be misquoted and then used against you.
Drive defensively, buy a tank!
Thank you for calling tech support, you're ignorance is my job security.
Always remember... you're unique just like everyone else.
Excuse me, but do I look like someone who cares ?
Do not disturb, I'm disturbed enough already.
I don't have a license to kill, I have a learners permit.
People like you are the reason people like me need medication.
If I throw a stick, will you leave?
FAILURE is not an option, it comes all bundled up with the software.
FOR SALE: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
I would put something CLEVER here... but you just wouldn't get it!
Those who think they know everything annoy those of us that actually do.
Warning! This shirt has sharp edges.
Silence is golden, but DUCTAPE is shiny.
Try to not let your mind wander, it's much too small to be out on it's own.
It's kind'a hard to show that I care, b e c a u s e I d o n ' t.
To my best recollection, I can't remember.
7 out of 3 people are math illiterate.
I'm going off to go find myself. If I'm not back by the time I return, keep me here.
If at first you don't succeed, skydiving just isn't for you.
If I gave a cr*p, you would be the first person I'd give it to.
I know all the answers, but I've been sworn to secrecy.
Let's hope there's intelligent life in outer space. I'm so lonely here.
There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary and those who don't
I'm the person your mother warned you about.
I'm not as dumb as you look.
No sense in being pessimistic It wouldn't work anyway.
We should forgive our enemies, but only after they've been taken out and shot.
Never kick a man unless he's down.
There is intelligent life on Earth, but I'm just visiting.
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made.
How can I love you if you won't lie down ?
I wear the brains in the family.
There's no future in time travel.
Put on your seat belt... I wanna try something.
Beat the 5 o'clock rush - Leave work at noon.
I'm not unemployed, I'm a consultant
I'm sorry My fault I forgot you were an idiot.
