The Monarch Effect

Chapter 10: A deal you can't refuse

Chapter 10

Looking out at what's essentially a mini army, one part of my brain prepares a will. Another wonders whether the army will kill me or if prison culture will. One part is terrified of Prim's blank expression, and another prays that Varialax doesn't make this more violent than it needs to be.

One part has me hold the door juuust right to where the mage can't be seen, and the final part spends every last brain cell computing the perfect expression to bail me out of this situation once and for all.

"...This isn't the bathroom?"

Well, I tried.

General Kent responds accordingly by putting his hand on his forehead and shaking it. The people in sunglasses simply raise their single eyebrow, and Prim covers her face while groaning my name.

"I should have you rotting away in a cell right now..." The general begins. "However-"

"To be fair," I start. "You locked me in a room for 17 hours without a bathroom or any way to contact anyone, so that's gotta be some form of abus- wait, did you say however?" I ask with my eyebrows raised.

"I did, as a matter of fact. Now if you would let me finish," He continues. "Captain Key here informed me that she contacted both the CIA and NSA and that they were both on their way to claim responsibility for you."

My jaw drops as he continues to speak. "My only job right now is to make sure you don't try anything funny and that nobody dies. That being said." He turns towards the four agents. "He's your problem now."

Breaking into a cold sweat, I turn toward the four agents in suits, two looking at me and the other two looking at their tablets.

One of them steps towards me with her sunglasses still on. I raise my hand to say something, but nothing comes out.

I've genuinely run out of things to say.

The agent looks at me for a few moments before finally...

"...Mr. Monarch Omnis Key, yes?" She says to me.

...Omnis?

"W-wait, Omnis?" I ask cocking my head.

"...I have a middle name?" I ask, staring into blankness.

"Of course you do. We talked to your mother, father, and your sister." The agent explains.

I turn toward Prim. "...I HAVE A MIDDLE NAME?!" I shout at Prim as she breathes sharply and looks to the side.

"Oh, but Mr. Key, there's so much more interesting information about you." The agent says to me, causing me to step back physically.

"Agent Cruz," one of the agents with a tablet says to the agent in front of me, causing her to turn. He then continues. "We've just finished the background checks on his social media."

"Oh, I don't post much there anyways-" I begin, but I'm interrupted.

"His main and his five alts." The other agent says as she looks up from her tablet.

A few moments of silence go by, and I sigh deeply. "...I just want to say that everything I post is ironic, and I am in no way any threat to national security."

"Oh, trust us, we know. Judging by your taste in anime." The agent with the tablet says. I can hear a snicker coming from one of the guards.

I'm now checking off "Being roasted by federal agents" as something I can use as self-deprecation humor.