Today, I heard the saying "Death person knows everything". Then, does that mean that he knows my feelings...
It has been 3 months since you left me... When I first heard of it, I couldn't believe it at all... Even now, I still can't believe it... It's just too hard for me... You're someone that I've always looked up to... You shine bright like a star even in the daylight... Smiles never leave your face even when you're tired... You spread your warmth everywhere you go just like the sun...
When I first saw you, you're a villain but with a heart wrenching background story... Starting from then, I slowly try to get to know you and it is surely a wonderful journey. We share a lot of sweet and even bitter memories together... I miss those times a lot, especially during my hard times... Your absence feels as if one of the pillars of my life is being torn down... Losing you impacts me not only emotionally but physically as well...
I still remember clearly the night you left this world... My only thought is "It's impossible". You are not that type of person and I firmly believe in my belief, in you... Although it's already been confirmed, I still don't want to believe the news... I cried so hard until it's hard for me to breathe... And I think from that day, my mental health dropped to the rock bottom... I almost couldn't control my emotions. Even the smallest mistake could make me angry and end up crying alone, blaming myself...
A day turned into a week, a week turned into a month and now it's been 3 months. I think too many things happened during that time... Some might think it's a short span of time but to me it's the most cruel, heart-breaking and tiring 3 months to me. Almost everyday, you come into my mind. Some days, you make me smile, and some days I cry thinking about you. But now slowly adapting to reality, I start to give up on fate... I just want to keep my heart to myself... The pain of losing someone dearest is still traumatizing me... I don't want to repeat the same mistakes again...
YOU ARE READING
Story of my life
RandomThe diary of a woman that struggling in academic performance, love life, friendship and mental health... Discover the reality life of Erica, a university student in her early 20s... Her up and down journey trying to learn more about herself...
