paper origami

:)

a/n: to those people i know in real life, ignore this pile of mess. i just needed to get this out there.. somewhere.

She just wants, wants, wants but can't have. She stares at the ceiling all night, thinking about all the what ifs. What if I was prettier, what if I hadn't done that, what if he loved me back. All of these thoughts come rushing through her head and she wants it to stop, but she can't.

She wonders if that smile of his would ever be directed at her again, if those soft lips would press against hers. If maybe, maybe he still loved her. Maybe not, but she could only hope. And hope is a thing that easily shatters people into pieces and pieces and not give a damn about it.

She thinks of him this time and pictures her hands fitting with his as they walk. But then that picturesque daydream would be shattered as she walks down the hallways and see him laughing with some other girl. If maybe, maybe she was prettier, and taller and nicer and kinder and everything she wasn't, maybe, maybe¸ he'll like her.

She listens to her classmates laugh at an inside joke, how she wishes to be with them, but the awkward silence that always greets her is a sign. And then she sees as her best friend leave her for some guy, all she could do was sit and stare at the teacher and pretends that everything is okay. Everything is perfectly fine. But it's not, and she just wants to hide in a corner and cry all her tears out and have someone to comfort her and hug her and tell her it's alright. But there is no one to go to, no one that will listen, no one that loved her. And she just continues on with a smile plastered on her face.

Sometimes she forgets, but then she remembers after she leaves school and realizes there is no one to talk to. She just sits alone in her bed with her phone on but no messages to reply to. And then she lays in bed late at night, without anyone to talk to and no one to listen, because she wants, wants, wants but can't have.