Going The Distance

Chapter Twelve - Jackson POV - Forgive Me

I closed my laptop the minute the door clicked shut. Why had she said yes to Daniel? Had she been lying about not being in to him? After everything she had told me she had to lie about this? It sickened me that she might want him over me, I knew it was selfish... I'd taken back the kiss after all.

But she knew what he was like, and after everything she had been through... how could she think he was a good choice of boyfriend? Daniel's not a bad friend, and he'd always been there for me, especially after Hana, it's just he didn't respect women, not yet.

I contemplated walking across and telling her how I felt, but something stopped me, stupidity, fear, stubbornness or a mixture of all three. I didn't leave my room, I just wrote sad soppy love songs and scanned through old YouTube videos of my parents singing on stage.

They had a love I could only dream of.

Sometime later I heard Daniel 4WD zoom up the driveway. Nausea filled my body. I closed my eyes and listened as she walked down stairs. I promised myself I wouldn't interfere, but in the end I couldn't stop myself, everything stopping me dissolved. I ran down stairs and out the front door only to watch the two drive off together.

I slammed the door hard behind me as I walked back inside. So it was happening, they were going on a date. Filled with anger I ran up to my room and swiped everything off my desk. It wasn't enough, my veins still ached with unreleased tension.

I walked outside and stripped off, diving into the pool. I swum length after length until my arms felt like they were going to fall off. The anger hadn't completely dissipated by the time I walked out of the water, but I didn't want to smash Daniel in the face anymore, so that was a start.

I sat down on the loungers where Amber and I had kissed. I closed my eyes and prayed to go back to that time, so that I could keep the moment and not take it back. It had been life defining for me somehow, I'd never felt so complete... ever.

And then the anger was gone, I was filled with sadness instead, broken by the stupid decision I had made. I sighed deeply and stood up, leaving the pool house and that kiss behind.

I showered and dressed before heading into the kitchen to eat. Swimming for as long as I had, had left me famished. I was in the middle of making a sandwich when the doorbell rang, over and over and over. There was only one person I knew that was as annoying as that. Hana. Frowning, I walked over and opened the door.

"Jackson Smith." Hana grinned, and the smile I had somehow once found attractive now seemed calculating and manipulative.

"Hana. Why are you here?" I asked.

"Your girlfriend is very pretty Jackson." She murmured, I could tell she was attempting to be seductive and it bothered me that I was even listening to her. Especially when she was bringing Amber into her little game.

"She is." I replied quietly.

"I must say I was really jealous." She moaned.

"You were?" I almost laughed, but managed to hide it behind my unwavering, unimpressed face.

"You're mine Jackson." She grinned placing her hand on my chest.

"And you... you're your boyfriends." I replied pushing her had away, struggling to hide my disdain for her.

"He's no one. A fling, a piece of meat I use to get off."

"Wow." She really had no level she wouldn't stoop too.

"Oh cool it Jackson. We both know you were my real thing. I messed around on you because I have a high libido, and I wanted our first time together to be special."