GALLAVICH ONESHOTS

Karma

Summary- Ian leaves Mickey and this was Mickeys last letter to Ian telling him his pain.

I wrote this as im going through a break up and it sucks so my pain can make a great story :))

word count-649

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IAN

I tried my hardest to forgive you, let you in, opened my life to you, to let go of the pain I hold so dearly. I forgave you time and time again hoping one day you would prove me wrong, that you have changed. But I was wrong... so so wrong. I thought I meant something to you, that you loved me, I was worth something, fighting for. But through these years I've been nothing crushed, disappointed and betrayed by you. 

The love I have for you, It was never enough... You had to find that love somewhere else from multiply people that you thought I knew nothing about, I knew I stayed quiet because I was in denial and I loved you to much to let you go. You loved them, touched them, kissed them, trusted them and worst of all fucked them the way you should have done that to me. I forgave you time and time again, thinking how this time might be different, how maybe you realised your mistakes, that im the only one for you but each time you did it, you reopened the womb that took so much time, love, loyalty and trust to shut but you put the knife in and kept twisting. 

To wake up one day, and be told by the only man you ever loved, worshiped and cherished deeply that he did not love you anymore and didn't want to be with you anymore. I have to say Ian that was below the bar, it was one of the most painful things I've ever had to go through alone. Nothing has hurt my heart more. Whilst you live happily, free and blissful. I life heartbroken, alone and shattered I lay lifeless in my bed not wanting to face the world, curled in a ball of my own tears hurting not wanting to face people I lay there alone thinking of all the possible reasons why I was never enough for you, why you felt the need to seek attention and validation from others. 

I hoped this was all a bad dream, that I was magically going to wake up with you next to me, holding me and stroking my hair, but instead im in a everyday cycle of crying to not getting out of bed and questioning myself, when in reality I should be questioning you. My family worry as im slowing falling into the darkness with no escape, I won't eat, sleep, move. What was the point I lost everything I worked so hard for.

You were my everything, the piece of the missing puzzle, the light in a dark tunnel, the sun in a storm. And you just left like it was the easiest thing to do? When everything got to much for you, you took off and ran, wanting me to change for you, wanting me to start all over because you didn't like "who I've become" wanting me to fix myself. I was myself I don't need fixing because im not broken I'M ME.. but I thank you for teaching me to love myself, teaching me not everyone is who they say they are and what I don't want in my next relationship. 

I hope one day when im happy, with someone who loves and cherishes me for who I am, you get bored of you single, free living life you come looking for me and see what you could have had and had right in front of you but you threw it away for a night of fun, to see what you fucking ruined and the man you created. And that is the fucking Karma you deserve. 

MICK