heartbeat ⇢ demetri volturi

𝒆𝒍𝒆𝒗𝒆𝒏

𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀 𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐒𝐈𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐁𝐋𝐄 𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄, 𝐄𝐋𝐄𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐑 𝐇𝐀𝐃 𝐂𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄𝐍 𝐓𝐎 𝐈𝐆𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐄 𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐘𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐑𝐄𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐓𝐎 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐂𝐀𝐋𝐋 𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐔𝐍𝐈𝐐𝐔𝐄 𝐍𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐑𝐄.

She despised the constant reminder that she wasn't normal. That she didn't age or share the same experiences as everyone else.

She loathed the fact that she had traversed childhood in a matter of mere months, progressed through adolescence within a handful of years, and now found herself eternally trapped in the guise of a woman barely reaching her twenties.

Though, of course, she acknowledged that being stuck in the latter was preferable to all the alternatives.

And because she had long resented what she was (and perhaps still did, secretly), Eleanor avoided all of Carlisle's insistent demands for medical examinations. What would be the purpose? To her, it seemed futile. Being aware of her vampire heritage was already a heavy burden; she had no interest in delving further into the subject.

As a result, she intentionally disregarded any new discoveries related to her kind.

Could they run and climb like typical vampires? Whatever, it didn't matter to her since she intended to lead as normal a life as possible.

Nessie had discovered that they could get hurt but heal quickly? Eleanor didn't really concern herself with the specifics. She simply made a mental note to be more cautious. Accidents happened, and though her vampire abilities granted her some level of protection, they weren't invincible.

Besides, she really didn't want to think of excuses for the mysterious disappearance of a cut or bruise from one day to the next.

And as time passed and Nessie became increasingly curious about their nature as hybrids, Eleanor only grew indifferent to it.

Of course, she understood Nessie's need to understand their bodies better. Her best friend had her own set of worries and questions, especially when it came to her relationship with Jacob.

Like whether she could ever have children with him.

Eleanor used to tease her about it, suggesting that the only way to find out was through practice. And even though at times her best friend would laugh and tell her to shut up with her cheeks flushed, deep down Eleanor knew it was a sensetive topic to her. Because Nessie always wanted it all—the romantic dates, the loving partner, the kids. A family of her own.

It seemed unbelievable that she was her mother's daughter.

And sometimes, sometimes, Eleanor had thought about the idea and wondered if she wanted the same thing as Nessie. As a child, she was sure the answer would have been yes right away. A big family like those she saw in pictures in magazines.

But as she grew older and gained a deeper understanding of her nature and its implications, her once simple dream of having a family became increasingly twisted and tangled. 

Certainly, she didn't have the luxury of a shapeshifter's magical bond. While Renesmee was lucky to have Jacob—a supernatural being like her—with whom she could share the rest of eternity, Eleanor could only navigate between the two worlds, feeling the fear of rejection every time she found herself too vampire for the human world and too human for the vampire world.

The thought of anyone truly accepting her with all her complexities felt like an elusive dream.

Because, who could ever want to stay with her?