Book of One-Shots

Banana On Pizza

In the otherwise calm streets of the city, numerous sirens wailed. The boys and blue were chasing another group of criminals after they had just robbed a bank. Their only trail to track being the loose notes of money the robbers left as they escaped at high speeds in their car.

The infamous red thieves, Donnie and Vinny, had struck again, but this time, one of them was sloppy. Vinny had forgotten to disarm the security systems, and the clerk was able to press the panic button just before he got shot to smithereens by Donnie's gun.

Vinny turned the corner, tires leaving skidmarks on the asphalt, and caused a cop car to crash into a flower store at the corner of the bend.

"Haha! Gottem again, Donnie! What'd I say?" Vinny said as he pulled out his revolver and shot the cops pursuing them from behind, the bullets either glancing off of the sides or piecing the hood of the car.

Donnie clenched his jaw, his grip on the steering wheel tightening. He didn't respond to Vinny's triumphant words, his eyes focused intently on the road ahead. Vinny, noticing Donnie's unusual silence, glanced over at his partner, concern etching his features.

"Hey, Donnie, you alright?" Vinny asked, his excitement fading as he took in Donnie's tense demeanor.

Donnie shot him a sharp, irritated look but still didn't say a word. He expertly maneuvered the car through the chaotic streets, dodging obstacles and evading pursuing police vehicles with calculated precision.

As the chase continued, Vinny's worry deepened. Donnie was known for his quick temper, but he had never seen him like this. The usual banter and camaraderie between the two were conspicuously absent. Vinny tried again, "Come on, Donnie, talk to me. What's eating at ya?"

Donnie's knuckles turned white as he gripped the steering wheel even tighter and turned the corner sharply, avoiding the cop car that almost crashed into them. He purposefully ignored Vinny's question, focusing solely on the task at hand. He swerved through traffic, narrowly missing collisions while he kept that unpleased look.

 "Fine, if ya not gonna talk, I'll just assume ya mad about the bank job. My bad on the security systems, alright? Happy now? Man ya haven't talked ta me since... damn, a week ago."

Donnie's nostrils flared, but he still didn't respond. The tension in the car was palpable as the pursuit continued, the flashing lights and blaring sirens providing a chaotic backdrop to their internal conflict.

Vinny, desperate to break through to Donnie, racked his brain for anything that could have triggered this level of anger. He went over their recent activities, their plans, their interactions, and then it hit him. A strange memory floated to the surface: a conversation they'd had about pizza toppings a week ago.

In a last-ditch effort, Vinny blurted out, "Was it about the pizza, Donnie? Is that what's bothering you?"

Donnie's grip on the steering wheel faltered for a split second, enough to let Vinny know he had hit a nerve. "What are you talking about?" Donnie finally snapped.

Vinny swallowed, his own realization dawning on him. "The pizza, you know, the one we argued about the other night... bananas as a topping."

Donnie's eyes narrowed, his expression a mix of incredulity and frustration. "You seriously think that's what's bothering me right now? Bananas on pizza? And it aint even da good bananas! Manzano's? You're ruining our reputation, man!"

Vinny let out an exasperated sigh, relieved that he had finally managed to break through to Donnie, even if the topic was far from what he had expected. "Alright, alright, Donnie, I promise I won't mention bananas on pizza again. We can argue about toppings later, okay?"

"WHO THE FUCK LIKES BANANA ON PIZZA?"

"CAN IT! WE SETTLE THIS LATER!"

Donnie's grip on the steering wheel relaxed slightly, and he shot Vinny a begrudging nod. "Yeah, Vinny, we'll settle this later. Just focus on getting us out of this mess."

As the car tore through the city streets, the police pursuit seemed to intensify. Sirens blared, and the flashing lights cast an eerie glow on the buildings that lined the road. Vinny's heart raced as he scanned their surroundings, searching for potential escape routes.

Suddenly, as they sped down a particularly narrow alley, Donnie's eyes widened. He glanced at the rearview mirror and noticed that the police cars that had been hot on their tail abruptly came to a stop, their sirens silenced. Confusion and relief swept over Vinny, and he turned to Donnie with a questioning look.

"Donnie, they stopped! Did we lose 'em?" Vinny asked, his voice tinged with a mix of excitement and disbelief.

Donnie's expression was grim as he shook his head. "I don't think we lost them, Vinny. Something's not right."

Just as he spoke, a shadowy figure appeared at the entrance of the alley, standing tall and imposing. Vinny's heart skipped a beat as he recognized the silhouette. "No way... Donnie, it can't be."

The figure stepped into the dim light, revealing a striking, black-clad figure with a cape billowing behind him. Vinny's jaw dropped, and he stammered, "It's... it's da Bat!"





(A/N: Requested by gohanblanko, I have no clue why)