[Raleigh rushes from the room, cheeks red, as Stanhope stumbles over to the table.]
Osborne: I say, you don't think you were a bit harsh on the young fellow, Stanhope? It's only his second day-
[Stanhope glares at Osborne, silencing him abruptly. The air in the dugout is stretched thin with tension as Stanhope picks up the discarded letter.]
Stanhope: I'm sorry, Uncle, but my job is to make sure no classified information gets out.
Osborne: You and I both know that Raleigh isn't going to give anything anyway, Dennis.
Stanhope: [in an agitated tone] Need I remind you to address me as Stanhope?
Osborne: [mimicking Stanhope] Need I remind you not to search through people's private letters?
[Stanhope slams his fist down on the table. It shakes horribly with his anger, and Mason comes running in to check on the commotion]
Mason: [seeing Stanhope] What in good heaven is going on here?
Osborne: There's just been a minor disagreement here, that's all. Could I get a cuppa, Mason?
Mason: Certainly, sir.
[Hibbert tentatively steps through the doorway, narrowly dodging Mason as he exits to the kitchen]
Hibbert: That disagreement sounded more than minor to me! [He chuckles, but upon seeing Osborne and Stanhope's faces, he takes a different approach.] I say, this neuralgia is killing me, it is. Can't get a half-decent rest with it.
[Stanhope mumbles something under his breath, and checks his watch, before addressing Osborne.]
Stanhope: Well then, Uncle, it's quarter to eight. You'd best get up there and relieve Trotter of his duty.
[Osborne rolls his eyes, stands and climbs the stairs out of the dugout. Stanhope takes this opportunity to tear open Raleigh's letter. Mason re-enters the scene.]
Mason: Tea, Uncle! [Looking around] Where'd he get off to?
Hibbert: He's on watch duty. I'll have the tea if it's up for grabs. Oh, and a biscuit too, Mason. [Addressing Stanhope] What's in the letter, Stanhope? Any secrets?
[Mason hands Hibbert the mug, and wanders over to the table, in search of a biscuit. Stanhope studies the crumpled piece of paper in front of him.]
Stanhope (reading out loud): He says: "Now for the great news. At headquarters, I was told to report to the G company - they all have letters, you see - led by none other than Captain Stanhope! Isn't that amazing? Perhaps I shall finally have a chance to tell him how I feel-" Hm? What? [Stanhope's face pales as he reads the remainder of the letter, and drops of sweat roll off his forehead. Mason's brow furrows.]
Hibbert: Well? What else 'as he got to say? [Seeing that Stanhope is speechless, he presses further.] Can I have a read, Captain?
Stanhope (quietly): N-no.
Mason: Oh, go on, sir!
[Hibbert stands and approaches Stanhope, who is now slumped in his seat, clutching a bottle in one hand and the letter in the other.]
Hibbert: It can't be that bad, can it? [He makes a rash grab for the letter] Come on- AAARGH!
[Stanhope's fist has collided with Hibbert's face, and he drops to the ground in shock, tears in his eyes. Stanhope is furious. Mason watches on in terror.]
Mason: Sir?
Stanhope (incensed): I am your CAPTAIN, and no is an order! Oh, to hell with the lot of you!
[He stands and leaves the room, leaving Hibbert on the floor, sobbing, and a very confused Mason holding a biscuit at the table.END OF ACT ½
YOU ARE READING
Journey's Bend
RomanceA vulgar parody of the critically acclaimed play Journey's End. This alternate take begins after Act I Scene III in the official script.