The Diary of Rema Williams

July 13th, 2019

I decided that I would sneak away to visit my boyfriend. I have never done that before and I was kind of scared that word would get back to my parents. Of course I would simply say that I was feeling adventurous but my mother would be suspicious because normally I wouldn't do anything like that. But anyway I took up the courage to. It was plain clear that we were meet up to fuck. Did I want to? I wasn't sure.

P.S. We did it. Yay I guess. I'm no longer a virgin virgin. I don't think I enjoyed it. I couldn't get aroused and he went in dry. I wanted to cry. We used a condom of course but it was too small. I was so self-conscious of my belly the entire time. I kept thinking he would be turned off if he saw that my belly bulged out so I kept on a shirt he had given me but he convinced me to take it off. Everybody's first time isn't always great. Maybe it will be better the second time around. I'm not sure I want to do it a second time.

P.S.S He videoed me sucking his cock. He said it was for his own enjoyment but I'm not sure I like that even though I had said yes in the moment. I think I like giving head. I think I like a lot of things that aren't good for me. I'm not even sure if I do. What should I do?

Rema