Creep (SILVERCANDLE ANGST)

Creep

If he knew one thing about himself, it was that Silver Spoon was an object of regality and class, which is why he should've known better than to foolishly fall in love with the most beautiful, kind, and intelligent contestant on the show, his dear Candle.

He felt disgusting for calling her "his dear Candle" in his mind as if she was his girlfriend. The irrational side of him feared Candle was going to read his mind from wherever the eliminated contestants go and call him out on it, even if she couldn't do that realistically. When she walked by him, it was like he was seeing an angel.

Don't be so preposterous. He thought morosely. She's not here anymore, and it's not like she was ever interested in you anyways.

He remembers the elimination quite vividly, and sometimes he dreams about it at night. The eliminated contestant being announced, and all he did was stand there like a nincompoop until it was too late.

Silver Spoon brought his knees to his body at this realization, looking sadly into the star studded night sky. He looked back on all the moments they have spent together, from the beginning, where he didn't trust her, to the bitter end, where he didn't get to say how he felt about her.

The spoon knew extremely well it could've been him that would've been eliminated after the most recent challenge, and then her sacrifice would've been for nothing.

He had to win, it was the only control left he had in this competition. Even if it hurt him, even if it hurt others, he had to stay in Inanimate Insanity. A feeling deep inside of him told him that he should've been the one eliminated this episode, maybe then he would get to see his special Candle again.

Silver Spoon wished he was special enough for her. He felt like a lavish Prince Charming, coming for her. He felt despicable for thinking that. After all, romantically, he was nothing more than a weirdo stalking around her.

He wondered if his dear Candle was thinking about him, if she was still alive. He shuddered at the thought, chastising himself for being so morbid. But, it was definitely a possibility.

No, I mustn't think like that... It's not proper. Silver Spoon grips the grass below him for some semblance of purchase on reality, as he wondered what he would do if his dear Candle was dead.

What did he want to do if she was dead? He stared into the full moon in the sky, on the verge of tears at the very thought of losing her for good. But the reality of the matter is, even if she was alive, she wouldn't want anything to do with him.

Holding the robot Candle's hand was probably the closest he was ever going to get towards the real thing. He wished that he followed the robot down the trapdoor. Silver Spoon knew that was a foolish wish, but he couldn't help himself.

I'm glad she got voted out, she was distracting me. The thought wriggled in his brain like a warm, and he immediately felt guilty for thinking it. She sacrificed for him, and he'll make sure that it didn't go to waste.

Silver Spoon noticed that tears were running down his face by his shaky breaths, and turned to the direction of the tree he was sitting under, bringing in his knees with his hands.

Why was he going through with this, anyways? Manipulating and throwing games for a beautiful angel long gone. But that was the point, wasn't it? Whatever makes her happy, he would do for her.

But at the end of the day, he was just a creep.