Guarded Hearts

Chapter 11

Content warning: S/H scars

"I feel... sweaty. It's not comfortable."

After laying on her bed for a few minutes,  Pippa and Steve slowly sat up. He ran his fingers through her hair and rubbed her back.

"Ew. Yeah, sweaty," he wrinkled his nose at her.

"Oh shut up," she swatted at his arm.

"I'm gonna go shower," she said. After a beat, she looked down and shyly asked, "Will you come with me?"

"Oh, of course, love," he said, tucking her hair behind her ear.

They made their way to her bathroom, giggling over nothing. She ran the water until the temperature is right, then stepped in, holding out her hand for him to join her. He grabbed her hand and stepped in.

Something on her wrist caught his eye. He looked again and saw parallel lines going from her wrist to halfway up her forearm. He ran his thumb over them and feels they're raised, like scars.

She followed his eyeline to her wrist and immediately took her hands back, wrapping her arms around herself.

She stepped back into the water, hoping the droplets running down her face would mask the tears forming in her eyes. However, nothing could disguise the sob that forced its way out of the back of her throat.

"Pippa-"

"I'm fine," she choked out.

"That doesn't work on me, remember? I see right through you." He wiped the tears and water off her face and kissed her cheeks.

"Pippa, it's okay. I'm not going to judge you. I just want to help. Please let me help."

He slowly peeled her arms away from her body, holding her hands again. He brought each wrist to his mouth and kissed her scars.

"It's okay, baby. It's okay..."

Her eyes rose to meet his, wide with surprise. She had never let anyone see her scars before. She thought everyone would mock her or hate her. And here was this beautiful man, kissing her scars murmuring comfort against her skin.

More tears fell down her face, but they were different tears.

"Hey... Pip."

"No, I'm- I'm okay," she said, sniffling.

"What's wrong, honey?" he held her hands to his chest.

"Nothing, I just- I've never had anyone... care so much. About me. I was so scared you wouldn't like me if you saw..." She took a breath. "I'm not proud of them."

"But you should be."

"What?" She wasn't sure she heard him right.

"You should be proud of them. Each and every one," he looked into her eyes.

"These scars means you're still alive. You're still fighting. You may have pain, but you've dealt with that pain in the only ways you know how. You shouldn't be ashamed."

He tilted her chin up and kissed her. Then, he leaned his forehead against hers.

"Come on. Let's get cleaned up."

"Wait," she said, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in the crook of his neck. They held each other like that until she pulled back, running her fingers through his hair.

"Sorry I don't have anything for you. Unless you want to smell like me," she giggled.

"Maybe I do want to smell like you." He grabbed her shampoo and lathered some up in his hands. He massaged it into her scalp, making her almost purr.

They spent the next half hour slowly washing each other's hair and bodies, playing with soap bubbles and exchanging sweet kisses.

When they were done, Pippa got Steve a towel and they got dressed. In the living room, she sat on the floor in front of the couch while he braided her hair back.

"How did you learn how to braid?"

"I used to braid my daughter's hair every night when she was little. She loved the waves it made when she woke up."

"Awwwww. I think that's the cutest thing I've ever heard, Stevie," she giggled.

He could listen to her laugh forever. It reminded him how he was very much in love with her. And he couldn't tell her. Not yet, he didn't want to scare her. She was still so fragile, and he was sure she would only get worse as the withdrawals started.

He would just have to see what the evening would bring.