The Pros of Cons

1 | That Might be a Red Flag

TONI

"Ew."

This wasn't the worst thing to ever happen to me. Nope, not at all. My freshly manicured thumb swiped left once again on the phone screen.

"Ma'am?"

I looked up. The Uber driver was giving me a look, clearly waiting for me to say something. 

"Oh, sorry. Not you." I said, making sure to smile. I lifted my phone for him to see and shrugged. "All good. Just, you know, it's really great to find out something gross about a dude five minutes before going on a date with him."

The silence that ensued right after my comment was the single most awkward thing that happened to me today. He clearly wasn't interested in entertaining my slightly pathetic (and slightly delusional) dating life.

After realizing my Uber driver decided to completely ice me out, I went back to my usual swiping amid the depths of Chicago's cringiest dating pool. Yes, I was on my way to a date. Just a few minutes away, in fact. So why was I back to swiping?

There was no particular reason. Well, perhaps I had a toxic trait—obsessed with scouring the internet for any and every potential 'ick' the men I'm interested in could have... right before going on the said dates. Now, I was frantically going through other men on the app in a failed attempt at substituting this man out for another one.

Obviously, I wasn't serious... Okay, maybe I was that crazy. But it was too late. Of course, I could just not go. But the hours of effort I put into grooming myself that day in preparation would play a huge part in whether I got out of the Uber.

I got out of the Uber.

I got out of the damn car because I looked hot as hell and wanted to go out. People needed to experience the Toni who gets glammed up and dressed to the nines at least once in a while. Not the post-grad student/underpaid reporter who usually looks sleep-deprived and disheveled. No. Not this time.

I walked into the restaurant and was immediately greeted by a blonde bombshell of a hostess. Her smile was cheek-splitting. "Hi there!"

"Hey... I'm supposed to be meeting someone here. Should be under Ryan?"

She took a moment to look down at her iPad before nodding. "Yes, looks like he's already here. Just this way."

She escorted me into a pretty fancy-looking lounge. Definitely no place for the cheap. I had to give it to Ryan. He was definitely starting off on an impressive foot. The gigantic diamond chandeliers sparkling on the ceilings could attest to that.

"Right here," the hostess said, approaching a small corner booth with a man sitting in it. The man of the hour—Ryan. His eyes squared in on me, obviously recognizing me.

"Thank you," I smiled at her. "Can I have a pinot grigio? Nine ounces, please."

"Of course."

The hostess walked off and Ryan stood up. He was tall — which was a bonus. I hadn't known much about Ryan except that he worked in finance and loved his two dogs. Height and physical attributes weren't the most important things to me. 

"Wow, you look... wow," he gaped, stepping forward after a moment to give me a hug. I wasn't normally a touchy person and usually refrained from PDA of all kinds... but I didn't want to come off as a dick on our first date. So, I let him. For the plot, of course. If only I didn't see what I saw about him five minutes ago. Poor guy doesn't know I'm fight through some serious ick right now.

"Nice to actually meet you," I told him as we sat down.

"Yeah. I've been looking forward to it. You look amazing, by the way."