Bereaved || COMPLETED SHORT STORY

Chapter 4

NOW

I contemplated going to Ben's house on my walk back home from school but decided against it, I hadn't seen his dad since the accident but I assumed he was as overbearing to him as mine wags to me, I could only imagine what he would do when he saw me.

My mom was sitting on the dining table as if waiting for my arrival, immediately I closed the door behind me she stood up to greet him, "Hey honey, how was school?"

"It was fine,"

"I called your school, I told them to tell the teachers not to bother you with questions during this time,"

"Well, the message wasn't passed along to the entire school," I said as a joke but the look of worry on my mother's face made it clear the joke didn't get through to her. "Were they insensitive? I could talk to your teachers to -"

"Mom, it was fine, I promise. My classmates weren't insensitive, they barely said anything to me, nothing out of the ordinary."

"Oh. So how are you doing sweetie?"

"I'm fine, Mom. I'm okay. I just want to sleep, I'm exhausted." She squeezed my shoulder and gave me that look, the same one my dad and Charlie had given me earlier today.

"Okay, hon. I'll keep your dinner in the microwave when you're ready for it."

"Thank you," then I made my way upstairs.

-

I woke up to Ben tapping me gently, he was still in the same clothes as yesterday and he looked exhausted like he hadn't slept at all. His golden brown hair was damp, he had bags under his brown eyes, and he had lost his sparkle like he was hanging on by a thread.

"Ben, are you alright?"

"No."

"Where have you been? I didn't see you all day and now you walk into my room by" I checked my alarm clock, "two in the morning! Did my parents see you?"

He pointed at the open window and shook his head, "Ben what's wrong?"

"I don't know, Jade. I- I don't feel like myself."

Without waiting for him to say further, I reached for him and hugged him. To be honest, I needed one too, I needed that feeling of comfort I got from him but when I hugged him, it wasn't there anymore. I didn't have his warmth anymore, I was met with cold. And his scent, I couldn't smell the strawberries anymore, just the body spray. It was like I was losing a part of him.

"Ben, I'm here. Remember that, I'm always here. No matter what, whatever you need. I'm here for you."

"I need you to -"

"Jade?" My little sister called as she knocked on my door. "I have to go," Ben said abruptly and stood up.

"Why? Pearl loves you."

"I know, I can't let her see me like this."

The knock came again, "I'll be right there P,"

Ben was sitting on my window pane in seconds, getting ready to jump down like he always did when he snuck in to see me.

"Wait, will I see you in school tomorrow?"

"Not likely, I'm not ready yet."

"But I'll be there, does that not count for something?" At this point, I was pleading for him to be there for me tomorrow. "I can't. I can't go back there, I'm sorry Jade." In the blink of an eye, he was off the window and walking down the street.

I watched him disappear down the street before walking towards my door and opening it for my little sister, Pearl. "Hey P," I crouched down to her height and hugged her because I needed one right now and we hadn't talked in ages.

"Are you okay, Jade?"

"Yes. I am, why do you ask?" Pearl waddled into my bedroom in her princess nightgown, with her stuffed elephant, Nani, held tight in her grasp.

"Mom and Dad said you haven't been the same since the accident."

"What?"

"I heard them talking about it tonight in the kitchen. Mom's worried that you don't eat anymore, and you're in your room a lot." I followed her and we laid down on my bed together and pulled the covers up to our necks like we used to do.

"I've told you not to eavesdrop on them your little munchkin." I reached under the covers to tickle her and she giggled. "I'm not a little munchkin," she said in between giggles.

"Well, yes you are."

"No, I'm not!" I couldn't help but smile at her happy face, I didn't want anything to change with Pearl. She was only six, and she was a sweetheart, I didn't want her to think something was wrong with me like my parents did. I wished everything would go back to normal. I wished Ben would go back to normal.

"Mom and Dad said you and Ben aren't friends anymore,"

"Of course we are. We're the best of friends, he's my second best friend, after you." I tapped her nose gently and she giggled. "They said Ben isn't going to be coming around anymore,"

"Well, they aren't wrong."

"Why not?" She was so innocent, so cute, with her beady green eyes just like mine.

"Because he has a lot of things to deal with, Ben is going through a lot right now, but when he is okay I promise he'll come right here to see you and give you a big hug,"

"And twirl me around?" She asked hopefully, "Uh huh, just like he always does."

"And call me his little princess?"

"You bet, I'll ask him to throw in a chocolate bar too."

"You're the best, Jade." I laughed as she lunged at me and hugged me.

"I hope you're okay too," she whispered before her soft snores filled the room.

THEN

WEDNESDAY

"Hey kiddo, I was just scrolling through the calendar it says weekend trip with Ben. Did you ask your mother about it?" My dad asked me while squinting at the calendar on the fridge. I was seated on the kitchen island doing some last-minute homework when he strolled in.

"Yes, she said I can go. Don't worry, I'll keep you updated on every step,"

"I'm not worried about that, you're a good kid. What about Ben's game? I've already bought tickets don't tell me he's not going to be playing. I have a North Hill Sucks T-shirt I've been waiting to put to use,"

I couldn't help but laugh at my dad. He was such a huge nerd and yet a big soccer fan, when Ben's dad didn't have time to drive Ben to the little leagues my dad went full soccer dad and rented out a minivan to carpool his entire team to games. I'm pretty sure when it comes to the Ben Kellen fan club, my dad takes the crown for the biggest fan.

"No Dad, he's still playing. We're just going to drive down to his dad's cabin after the game to take some time off and work on our friendship." I said the last part pretty quietly I hoped my dad wouldn't catch it but he did.

"Are you two okay?"

"We're fine, we just got into an argument yesterday and haven't talked since."

It's been more than 24 hours since our argument and neither of us had bothered to reach out.

"You don't sound fine," my dad took a seat beside me and I knew that homework time was officially over. "I am really, it's just been hard since high school started. It's like our friendship took a turn for the worse, it's not been the same."

"Have you told him this?"

"He called me a hoarder, that I wanted to keep him all to myself." My dad gave me a look, "Ben said that?"

"I mean, I did say that he made me wait for him all the time and he said he had other friends that he couldn't always be there when I needed him and that if I just came along with him and tried meeting his friends or at least made an attempt to be accommodating that they'll see what he sees," I summarised the entire argument.

"And what did you say?"

"That I'm good" I answered sheepishly.

"Well, are you good?"

"No. I'm scared that if I join them they won't like me and they'll convince him that I'm just weird, then I'll lose him too. And if I'm being honest, I'm not comfortable around new people. It's just been me and Ben since preschool, I don't want to lose that."

My dad gave me a reassuring pat on the back. "And you won't lose that. Kiddo, it will always be you and him, but sometimes you have to branch out to meet new people how do you expect to survive when you move to different colleges?"

"I don't know," I mumbled.

"Jade, you have to put yourself out there no matter how much it scares you,"

"I guess you're right."

"I'm very sure I'm right, I'm a dad, I'm always right. Now what would you like for dinner? Your mother's out of town and I promised you girls would eat something healthy and-"

"You're going to order pizza aren't you?"

"I already did."