Without You, Conrad ☀︎︎

Love Triangle

Steven and I had everything planned. Plan Belly.

I was going to tell her how I felt. Obviously I wasn't going to do it in front of Jere. He'd been acting weird all week. But then again, he's been acting weird towards me since last summer. But everything was okay with him. I could tell Belly the truth, and if Steven supported it, I knew it couldn't go wrong.

But then I saw them. Suddenly, it was hard to breathe, and I didn't know what was true anymore. 

They didn't see me at first. They were too busy making out on my car. Jere was making out with my girl on my car. Saying I was pissed is an understatement.

I cleared my throat to stop them. I couldn't bare to see it. "Conrad--" Jere tried to explain himself. "No. Please don't stop, I'm clearly the one who is interrupting you." I said angrily before storming off.

I was going to tell Belly how I felt... and then it all died. I didn't even get a chance to say anything. Because she was with Jeremiah now.

"Conrad, come on, man," Jere said. I waved it off and continued walking away.

"Conrad. Come on, Conrad," Belly said behind me. I couldn't look at her. Just hearing her voice felt like a stab to the heart. "I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Come on. Please don't shut me out again, okay? The three of us have done that to each other too many times this year, and all it's done is make things worse," She said. I stopped in my tracks and slowly turned around to face her. 

"Okay, if you want to talk, let's talk," I said. "I'm really sorry you saw that. It was so messed up Last night, I tried to talk to you about all of this, about how I've been feeling and..." She began to explain.

"Okay, got it," I said. I didn't need to hear any more about how Belly was falling for Jere. "So you want to be with Jeremiah now."

"Conrad..." She said in a sigh. "Or are you just doing this to get my attention?" I asked. "Are you serious?" She asked. "You really think I would do that just to try and get you back? The answer's no. This is not about you."

"Then go! Go. Stop chasing after me and go after Jere. He's the one that wants you. I don't. Not anymore," I told her. She shook her head as I walked away. It was useless to even try.

When Belly and I were broken up, I thought about her every single day. All the time. My feelings for her never changed. Not really. But seeing her with Jere... it was the end. The real end of our relationship. And that killed me.

 I took her necklace from my dorm, packed a few things, and headed back to the car. I needed to get the fuck out.

Thank god California is thousands of miles away.

"Excuse me," I said, carrying the box. "So, you guys ready to go or not?"

"Didn't know if you were coming," said Jere. "I promised Laurel I'd get Belly home," I told him before looking at her. In that moment, all I could think about was when we left last December. Cousins was our place. We'd saved it... but I'd lost Belly instead.

"Uh, here, you can drive," Jere said, trying to hand me the keys. "No. No. I don't think I trust myself behind the wheel right now," I told him. I looked at Belly and then back at him before saying, "I didn't get much sleep last night."

I hummed as we drove back to Belly's house and looked at Belly while she was reading and said, "Belly, you're gonna throw up if you keep reading that." Jeremiah looked over and said, "She's okay." That was such bullshit.