Chaotic minds: "Don't let go of me."

July 16 2023

When we got off the plane I knew he just wanted to go straight to bed. But we all knew we had to get out of the airport first, which is either chaotic or quick and pleasant. This time around, it was the first one unfortunately.

I felt really bad for him because I know how much he wants to put on a smile for his fans and return the love they give him, but unfortunately sometimes the kindness backfires.

As we all go through the sliding doors, I'm walking quite a few meters behind him to not cause any uprising questions from fans on the spot. We decided to keep us a secret for as long as we can, with no pressure on us to rush anywhere. I held onto the straps of my backpack and I saw him lowering his sunglasses from his hair, to close out at least some of the overwhelming rush that he receives.

I completely understood his action as the fans' cheers and all the phones directed toward us hit us all at once. I noticed immediately that he wasn't waving as much as he usually does and that something is off.

I always let him takes his time and whenever he comes to me, he knows I'm always there. I saw him stop in his tracks, shaking his head a little bit and turning around, walking straight toward me when he saw where I was. He took my hand with a strong grip and whispered so only I could hear it. "Don't let go of me." I looked up at him a little concerned, but then I saw his faint smile and knew that my presence released some of the emotion he was giving into.

I don't know how the crowd around us reacted and frankly, I think neither of us cared. When we need each other, there's no question about it.

After some scary moments through the crowd of people, we finally had all our things in the car and we sat inside leaving the chaos outside the vehicle.

It was just the two of us in there and I watched him lowering his head into his hands, almost down to his knees. I let him have his moment, while all I wanted to ask was if he was okay. After a few minutes he let out a deep sigh and raised his head. He looked at me and even through the sunglasses I knew what he was asking for. I scooted over to him and embraced him softly but with a bit of pressure so he felt my reassurance.

"Thank you for being with me." He whispered. I kissed his cheek quickly as an answer and continued the hug. We stayed like that for some time, although I felt like I could've held him forever.