A Thorn In The Flesh

What Are We?

NATHAN'S P.O.V

A month had passed since my mum left us.

They said things were going to be okay and they were right.

It hurts that she's gone but I know she's in a better place and like Emily said she lives in my heart, as long as I can remember our time together, she will forever be alive. The funeral took place on the designated day and it helped with the healing.

My dad got to express how he felt in front of everyone and we got a chance to say goodbye.

I channeled my emotions into writing and now I have a lot of songs about how much I love and miss my mother.

One of my family members from my mum's side gave me a guitar. It was my mum's guitar when she was my age. Turns out my mum wanted to be a musician before she had a change of dream.

I've been playing with the guitar and I think I could make something out of the guitar and my songs. Eating has been hard for me, my mum always cooked for me so now whenever I eat I can only think of how I'll never taste my mum's home-cooked meals again. My dad thinks I'm developing anorexia but I'm sure I'm going to be fine. It'll pass.

I haven't gone to school since it happened and I'm more than okay with just sitting at home in my underwear writing out my feelings. Wow, I never thought I'd be that guy. This might sound weird but I still talk to my mum, sometimes the songs I write are like letters to her. I don't care how it makes me look.

People grieve in different ways.

"Aah," I groan as the light is turned on. I turn to the source, it's my dad

"Please turn it off" I beg.

He shakes his head and gives me a serious look

"We need to talk" he states and sits on my bed

"Okay but can't we talk with the lights off"

"No," he says sternly and looks at me.

I can feel his vulnerability and his hurt.
"Son, we need to be strong, because no matter what we do it wouldn't change the fact that your mum is gone. She wouldn't be happy to see you sitting at home all day in darkness and not eating"

"Okay I'll keep the lights on," I say with a little smile

"I'm being serious Nathan. I know this is hard on you, it's hard on me too. You lost your mother and I lost my wife, but we cannot continue living like this. What did your mum tell you before she died?"

I sit up and recall the last conversation we had
"She said that even if she isn't here I should make sure I live my best life and be happy"

"Is this you living your best life? Staying indoors all day. Not eating and not going to school"

"No sir" I reply suddenly feeling bad. My mum wanted me to continue living and this isn't how she wanted me to do it

"Tomorrow is Monday. You are going to go to school. And I want you to have fun. Go to parties, get a girlfriend just do stuff that teenage boys do. That will make your mother happy"

"Okay dad, I'll prepare for school"

"I love you, Nate"

"Love you too dad"

********
Night time comes but I can't sleep. Sleeping has also been a little hard. Every time I close my eyes I see the image of my mum's eyes closing and it's like I'm reliving that moment again.

I stay awake watching videos on my phone and morning comes fast. I get ready for school and decide to walk instead of calling Zeke.

"Dude you came. I'm so glad to see you. Why didn't you give me a call I would've picked you up" Zeke says as soon as he sees me.