Sex and the Billionaire Crime Boss

Ch. 19: Say Something

I wait for Max to say something, anything, that will make me feel like we can still be together.

"We should have had this conversation earlier on," Max says, "but things have moved pretty quickly."

"I know." There's a lump in my throat now that won't go away. I want to be with him, but I'm not sure I can do it on his terms. Or maybe even at all.

"Hadley, not every man with money and a . . . certain kind of power treats women like possessions. That's not what this is about. And it's not about gender roles or misogyny, if that's what you're thinking. I run the kind of a business where people do what I say, and I expect that, and if they don't do what I say there are consequences."

I stiffen. I'm not willing to be in a relationship where a man thinks of himself as my boss. If Max isn't willing to treat me as an equal, then I just don't see any future for us and I'd be better off cutting my losses now, as painful as that will be.

His arms are still wrapped around me, holding me close. "But you're not my employee. You're the woman I'm . . . involved with, for want of a better term right now. If I want something from you, I'm going ask, not order."

I start to respond that that's not what I've observed so far, but he stops me.

"There are two exceptions to that. The first is when your safety is involved. If you were standing in the middle of the street and I saw a car speeding toward you, I'd tell you to move right now. You stay there in the street arguing and asking questions and you'd be dead. Sometimes the things that are coming at you because of your association with me are going to be like that speeding car. And when I tell you move, I expect you to do it. And you're just going to have to trust that I have a good reason for it."

"Okay. I get that." And I do. And I can maybe live with that. It depends on how much of his life he still plans to keep secret from me. But there's a big difference between withholding certain information for my own safety, and keeping me completely in the dark about what kind of man he actually is.

There are all kinds of warning bells going off in my head, telling me I need to back away now. But my heart is telling me to at least give this a chance.

"I'm not going to abuse that privilege, Hadley." He meets my gaze, eyes blazing. "I would never use it as a power dynamic in a romantic relationship, or make you feel like I'm trying to control your life. But there are times when drawing lines and having you respect them is the only way I can protect you."

My heart is pounding. I know this is the moment when I have to either step back or move forward.

I tell myself that money laundering is really a victimless crime, and certainly a bloodless one. It's not like he's confessed that he's having people killed or sending Gabe out to beat up shopkeepers for protection money. He already told me he's only involved with people like Gino and Joey D because of commitments his father made.

If Max refused to carry out the business deals his father made with the Mafia, would his father's life be at risk in prison? I've heard plenty of stories of people being killed in prison for things that happened on the outside.

Can I really judge Max if he's doing things that cross the line legally to protect his own father? I lean back and look up at him, see the faint lines of stress on his face.

This man who is usually confident to the point of arrogance looks suddenly vulnerable as he waits for my answer.

"I guess we'll just have to see how that goes," I say. "I can agree right now that when you tell me to do something and you don't explain why, I'll do it and I'll ask why later. But if I find I can't live like that, then, well, then it's going to be time to say goodbye."