The locket that kept us whole

2. A breath of stale air.

I miss being able to breathe without feeling like I'm still gasping for air.

Feeling like no matter how big I try to open up my lungs, or how much I gasp for new intake, it feels like I'm drowning in a breath of stale air.

I barely remember life outside of this. Life where I used to be happy. Life where I thought I would never end up in a situation like this. Life where fresh air was never impossible to inhale.

Life where a man never controlled my worth. "What am I even talking about.. He reached inside my heart and ripped out any bit of worth I felt" I whispered to myself, laughing bitterly, trying to numb the ache from the gush on my lip.

I just want to sleep. Sleep for so long that when I wake up, all of this will be over; sleep and dream of the things I miss. Freedom, life, air,  books. I love books, I used to read them all the time, before I got myself into this situation. I used to read so much my mind was always occupied with the fictional characters in my mind. Making friends with them, trying to marry them. Now my mind is empty.. Like the blank page you see when you turn the page of a book you just finished. Sometimes, I wonder if I'm turning into that blank page. Nothing useful.

How ironic.

I don't really read anymore. It kind of reminds me of the times in my life when I used to be happy, and I hate remembering the memories. Feeling nothing is more appealing. It's not like he'd let me read even if I wanted to anyways. In his words, a girl shouldn't be reading, something about us having "too much of an opinion" or something.

I glance at my bookshelf, staring hard at my many books making their way across my shelves. I know I'm in my own home and I have free will, but if he ever found out I touched a book, he would make sure he found a new creative way to hurt me.

I feel so broken down. I can't speak up for myself, I can't defend myself, and worst of all, I feel like such an idiot. An idiot for getting myself into this situation, and an idiot for agreeing to date this boy.

I just wanted to make my father happy...

Ever since I've started dating Mason my father has been so happy. There has been so many rises in his re-election campaign and he's been doing so well. I know if he knew about what Mason has been doing to me he'd shut everything down immediately. I just don't know how to tell him and crash down everything he's worked so hard for. So, I just suck it up and accept defeat. "It'll be okay" I whisper to myself.

I stand up, and make my way to my bathroom. I stare at myself in my mirror, stare at my hallowed eyes, and just laugh. "This is so fucking ridiculous."

I reach down into my shelf and grab my first aid kit. Smells like shit, I think to myself as I lather the cream across my cut. I then grab my makeup kit and put on my lipstick, hoping it hides the cut enough.

I look back into the mirror and can't help but feel sorry for myself. I mean, I know I'm no angel but no one deserves this. No one deserves to be put in a situation they feel like they can't get out from.

It's not like I'm someone who just lets things like this happen to me, I swear if it wasn't for my father I'd be out of this bullshit already. He's come so far, and I refuse to be the reason he loses. He deserves to win, he's worked so hard to get us here and he deserves this life. And for that reason, I'll drain mine.

I sigh deeply and decide I should probably do something to my hair. I stare at my curls and and just feel the need to start breaking down. I grab all my products and get to work. Wet my hair, detangle, moisturize and style. After finishing my hair I'm feeling kind of confident. I think I look pretty, I just hope it's enough for him.

I go back into my room and walk over to my closet. Being the Mayor's daughter has a couple perks, one of them being I have hella outfits. I grab an orange laced corset top, black cargo pants and my orange and black Jordans. "Eh, this will do for today"

I grab my bookbag and sigh into it, trying not to scream

Fuck my life.