life update

update #2

(tw: i am warning that this is a heavy and long vent so you are under no obligation to read if you don't want to. there is some cursing and mentions of sex, and just in general talk about shitty behavior)

hey all. it's been a minute. the leftovers thing isn't really an issue anymore but other issues are arising instead that are causing tension between my dad and i and a lot of it involves him stripping my freedom away and contradicting himself and just being an ass based on merely assumptions he has and trust issues he has with me and my bf.

cause we got into arguments about me staying the night (one night at a time barely happens ever) at my bfs for convenience even tho we're literally 20 years old.

i wanted to spend the night a couple weeks ago on a sunday because i was gonna be with my bf again the next day so just made sense to me rather than going home just to come back the next day (it's not a super long drive but to and from is about 30 minutes) but my dad said no. my mom was concerned about school because i had a 9 am class that monday but i said he could take me because he had that day off work for the 4th of july. my dad didn't want me to either for what he claimed was that reason but it's also because he doesn't trust us and he thinks i wanted to stay the night just so i can have sex which is sooo far from the truth but he doesn't believe me at all and that's an issue right there.

but yeah so basically i had planned to stay but we called on the phone and they said no and shit and so i had to go home otherwise i would have gotten in more trouble. got home and had a discussion that was again bs. he clearly didn't believe me that i wanted to stay over for only "convenience" even tho that was like literally all.

and he also basically said that he'd be more lenient on that if my bf and i were engaged. like ???
like apparently i'm not allowed to stay over cause we're not in a "committed" relationship. because i guess to my dad a committed relationship is only if you're engaged or married. so my bf and i dating for nearly 2 years now and being friends for 8 means absolutely nothing to him.
he was all like i don't want you to get taken advantage of, etc. etc. which basically told me that yeah he only thought i was staying over because my bf wanted me to or cause i wanted to for sex. like just because we're two young adults in a relationship doesn't mean everything is about sex??? like? and not all guys want to take advantage of others bodies? like is it that hard to believe my bf actually loves me for me???
and like he told me it's not that he thinks my bf is like that but like if he didn't then why is this even an issue? cause he obviously don't have trust in one of us or both of us so like???

and then just this past weekend i wanted to spend the night on saturday because we had a concert that day so i'd be getting home pretty late and in the past i've gotten to stay over at my bfs under circumstances like that cause it's safer to stay there than drive at like 1 am when i'm exhausted but guess what when i asked my dad if i could he fucking said no. i asked and he was like ehhh then asked where i sleep when i'm over there and i just asked "does that matter?" and then he was like "the answer is no since you're giving me an attitude." like that wasn't even an attitude i was just asking a genuine question. like why does it matter where i sleep when i'm over there? it only matters since he's super against us sleeping in the same bed since he thinks we only wanna do it to fuck. and like idk why he said no after that anyway cause i fucking knew the answer was gonna be no anyway/no matter what i said. like i shouldn't have even asked but i wanted to have my hopes up since it was a weekend night and a concert night (which was something we discussed in previous convo he said on nights like those he'll sometimes make exceptions). yet nope not at all cause he's an ass. so i had to drive home at nearly 2 am when i was fucking exhausted. like gee thanks glad you worry about me having sex more than my literal safety.