When the Earth Meets the Sky

​I sat there at the show. Seoul Music Awards. We had worked so hard ever since we were trainees to participate there. It was our dream to participate in something like that. But sadly, we didn't win. We lost. Which means, EARTH: Sara, Cho, Sua and I​​, had lost. Flowearths, our extremely lovable fans, had supported us with all their might. They spent their valuable time voting for us online. I felt very thankful to have such fans who love us so much... But, the fact that we let them down, made me and each and every other member feel extremely guilty. I tried to make myself feel better, by telling myself that it's OKAY to fail.

Year 2027... I sat there, experiencing failure, looking at some other junior groups performing for the audience, listening to the loud cheers of the crowds completely behind all the stars. I started thinking, why did I even have to get into kpop? If only I hadn't got into kpop, I wouldn't be feeling this bad now, staying away from my family and friends, in a completely different country. With that, my mind went back to 2020. I had started watching dramas. And I completely loved small dramas. Among the first dramas I watched was To Be Continued... Soul Plate, etc. "In both of those, the common point is this guy called Cha Eunwoo" is what I thought. But I wanted to know more about him. Lee Dong Min was his real name. And he could simply be called Eunwoo. He was the visual of a group, which existed in the past, ASTRO. After knowing ASTRO, the light of realisation enlightened the stupid me. I figured out that all the members of that group, ASTRO, were there in Soul Plate and To Be Continued. 'Oh wow!' I thought and then rewatched both of those. I was able to recognise each and every song by ASTRO in Soul Plate this time. It felt good. Later I got to know some other kpop groups too. Generally, everybody thinks that kpop = big or most famous kpop groups. But nobody really cares about the underrated groups do they?? ASTRO was underrated too. In fact, most of the groups I loved were underrated. And I also remembered how badly an award show had made me cry. ASTRO was nominated. So was another group which I loved. What to do, I loved both of them. But, ASTRO didn't win. I felt so very sad that I was about to cry. But, thanks to my friend, Mae, who tried to understand my pain, though she wasn't an Aroha then.

Now, I am 24. Sitting at some award show. 'But anyways, failures are the steps to success, aren't they??' I thought to myself, over and over again, to make myself feel better, to make myself feel cheered up. Oh, that song... Cheer Up. As soon as I thought about it, I started humming it to myself. I was concentrating on who was on the stage and what they were talking about, and at the same time, humming a song to myself.

"Now," the anchor announced... "Let's have some amazing vocalists and visuals perform for us." 'Yeah, she's been saying the same for almost every group, just using different words... She seems to be good at grammar,' I thought. "Their singing is simply melodious." Sheesh. I wanna go. I just want to go and sleep, and dream about ASTRO. "Let's welcome the group, ASTRO!!!" My heart beat intensified. Astro. I didn't want to see them again. I love them. Which is why I didn't want to see them. Confession started playing. Oh nononono! Confession was the first song I learnt. I had a hard time learning the rap though. But God, please noo!

As I was thinking, and frantically praying to God inside, for Astro coming there to be just a dream, I started realising that it wasn't a dream. It was taking place for real. God. 'No, don't cry, don't cry, you never cry when seeing the people you love...' my voice interrupted my heart as I started singing along like some idiot. Worst thing is that I was even crying while I was singing. I was crying like some baby, shivering each and every second because of the mixed feelings... Excitement, Love, Sadness, Anger, and maybe not exactly a feeling but, memories. I was shivering like the temperature was - something degrees. I had never cried this much after becoming an idol. What more, I had never cried in public, for God's sake. My group mates had already got their panic mode on. I tried talking to Cho and Sua, who were right beside me. But, all that came out, was just sobs, between lots of shivers. They started slowly patting me, and told me that it'll be alright. Sara, our group's main rapper and leader, sat beside me and hugged me. Sara knew me well. Doesn't matter what, whether I feel sad, or scared, or happy, or angry or anything... All I need will be a hug to feel good. 'You can go to get some fresh air if you don't want to stay here now,' said Sara. I guess that's one of the main reasons she became the leader of Earth. Right then, my phone started vibrating. Mae. My bestie from school. I picked up, and started crying even more. "Mae!! Astro is performing! I just can't bear it! I don't want to cry dude. I hope I was never into kpop... For god's sake, I want to stop crying!!"