(The instrumental from "Not Evil" starts, but on 1.25x speed)
Queen Watevra: He's ripping off my song!
Lucy: Oh, yay! A musical!
Batman: Lucy, you actually like musicals now?
Bananar: Shh! Quiet!
Mayor Breaker: Hello, friends, my name is Mayor Breaker. Obviously. Don't worry! I'm totally not that evil. JUST KIDDING! I'm definitely a bad guy like from movies and TV, and there's probably some ways to be suspicious of...me!
Chorus: Evil. He's so evil. Yes. The most evil dude. He is the best. (x2)
Queen Watevra: Hey! He copied my song!
Emmet: Yep. It does sound similar.
Mayor Breaker: I'm definitely a villain! I have tons of evil plans to destroy Syspocalypstar any way that I can! 'Cause I'm a bad guy. You can't beat me. You're too kind, nice and sweet. So, there's no way possible that you will ever stop...Mayor Breaker! Hey, that's me! The most evil dude in history! And if you all don't believe me, I totally will break you apart piece by piece! 'Cause that'd be evil, and you'll know...that's me! Mwahahahahaaa! Woo hoo!
(Repeat chorus in background)
Lucy: Really? 'Cause I'm getting super evil vibes here.
Mayor Breaker: Benny, do you like spaceships? 'Cause I think they aren't great.
Benny: How'd you know that? Loving spaceships is my one defining trait!
Mayor Breaker: Well, guess what? I'm destroying that big spaceship of your dreams! I'll blast it and I'll break it til there's nothing to be seen!
(Benny gasps in horror!)
Lucy: Really, man? Right into it.
Benny: Wyldstyle, that's pretty grim. There are many reasons to be suspicious of...him!
(Chorus repeats in the background.)
Lucy: Guys, He's evil! I just know it already. He's definitely an evil guy!
Metalbeard: Yarr. Well, I'm kind of buying it.
Metalbeard: Metalbeard, a pirate without a ship, that's so cruel! I'm destroying all that stuff too! You'll look just like a fool!
Lucy: Even his metaphors are so stupid!
Mayor Breaker: I got a surprise for you! I'm taking apart your pirate ship and I'm cannonballing your crew!
Metalbeard: His story checks out. He's definitely evil.
Unikitty: What about me?
Mayor Breaker: Unikitty, remember that pool of glitter?
Unikitty: A lot!
Mayor Breaker: I'll burn it 100 degrees!
Unikitty: No! (Backs away from a flaming glitter pool.)
Mayor Breaker: And, Emmet?
Emmet: Don't even try it, dude. You can never break me!
Mayor Breaker: Oh, I know. That's why I'm breaking your dream house, and all your precious things!
Emmet: Wait, like everything?
Mayor Breaker: Yep, even Planty.
Emmet: You're evil. Definitely!
Mayor Breaker: Here are a few words I always use just to describe me. I'm duplicitous, I'm malicious, I'M conniving, and I'M NASTY!
Emmet and Lucy: Now you're using actual words that describe you!
Mayor Breaker: Who, me? I'm Mayor Breaker, and you'll see that I'm the most evil person you'll ever meet! And if you make stuff to get rid of me, then I'll master build a robot horde complete with laser beams 'cause I'm so evil!
Dr. Wu: Evil!
Mayor Breaker: Evil!
The Minions: (in Minionese) Evil!
Mayor Breaker: Evil! And you'll know...that's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
(Song ends)
(Mayor Breaker is still in the same pose he was in at the end of the song. He stares at the gang, smiling. But they all look back at him with unamused faces.)
Mayor Breaker: What? No applause?
YOU ARE READING
The LEGO Movie 3: The Third One
ActionEmmet, Lucy, Unikitty, Rex, and Sweet Mayhem are about to face their final adventure (and maybe even a hilarious new enemy) in the epic conclusion to the hit franchise in The LEGO Movie 3: The Third One!
