More than just Boys: How IM5 has Changed My Life

Chapter 2: Discovering Hope

I do my best to avoid my mom the rest of the night, but considering that we live in the same house, it's not easy. I have to see her at dinner and family prayers, but fortunately, she doesn't seem very interested in talking with me either.

After prayers, I trudge upstairs to my room and plop onto my bed. I'm not tired, just sad. My thoughts from my walk this afternoon creep into my mind and I find myself crying as silently as I can to avoid someone hearing me. I hate feeling vulnerable.

You'll never be good enough. You never were in the first place. You're weird and everyone knows it. You're going to end up alone...no one loves you. You're damaged. You've been through something terribly tragic and nobody wants that kind of garbage..."

I know my mind is lying...but the more it says, the harder I cry. But crying won't solve anything; It'll just give me puffy, red eyes and I'll wake up tomorrow looking like shit.

I pull out my phone and begin scrolling through Facebook and Twitter. What better way to distract myself from my feelings than the feelings and lives of my friends?

I scroll through photos of my friends at school. I had to take this semester off because of the concussion. It's weird seeing them together without me. I mean, it isn't all of them; one of our other friends is abroad in France. But I can't help but miss them; they look so happy. I see a photo of Katherine and our friend Gen who had been abroad in Ireland in the fall. The last time I'd seen her (Gen) was over Easter when she stayed the weekend...and that didn't go well.

I skip over the photos and keep scrolling. A bit farther down my newsfeed, I see that one of my Disney-obsessed friends had shared a video. I notice that it's by Todrick Hall and I decide to watch it because Todrick and his friends never disappoint.

After the video (which was excellent as usual), I go back to Facebook and notice that underneath the video I had just watched was a "related video" suggestion. The thumbnail showed five boys standing in a classroom dancing and they appeared to be dressed like Disney Princes. The video was entitled "Disney Dudez".

Well, I love Disney, dancing and boys...plus the one dressed like Prince Eric looks pretty cute. I guess I'll check it out.

Needless to say, I was not at all disappointed. Not only did they dance, and act, they SANG REALLY WELL. I mean, I guess since it was done by Todrick and Disney themed, I should've guessed that there would be awesome singing, but it still came as a surprise.

Also, my positive initial impression towards Prince Eric grew stronger. I mean, this kid was cute, could sing, could dance, and seemed to have a fun side. What more can a girl ask for? Now, if only I knew his real name...

I catch myself beginning to "daydream" (as it is approximately 11pm) about this boy and I realize that they all appeared to be quite young...therefore it might be kind of creepy for me to be potentially developing a crush on one of them.

Well, they look what, maybe 16 in this video? Let me check the date it was published:

June 25th, 2013

Okay, so 2-ish years ago. If they were 16, then they'd be 18, or close to turning 18, right now...okay I feel better.

I proceed to search the suggested videos on the right side of the screen and notice that a "Disney Dudez 2" sits at the top of the list. I do not hesitate to watch it along with "Disney Dudez 3".

I watch until the end of the third Disney Dudez and see that Todrick had announced he was going on his first tour, "Twerk Du Soleil" and that the boys of IM5 would be joining him for part of it.

IM5

So these boys were a real band after all.

I look back to the suggested videos and see that the first one listed is an interview with IM5.

Well, I guess it wouldn't hurt to learn a little more about them. I mean, at least their names.

I click the interview and feel my heart lighten up. I find myself smiling at all of the boys responses. They are so adorable: Dalton's spontaneity, Will's humble awkwardness, Dana's sense of humor, Gabe's sarcasm and strategic silence, David's charm, and Cole...just everything about Cole makes me smile.

I keep clicking interviews, and Ustreams, and music videos and learn the past of this band. Though they aren't a very old group, they've lost their fair share of members: but all of them are still in the music business.

I'm not entirely sure why I'm drawn to these guys; I've never liked boy bands before this. I mean, NSYNC was good and all, but I never understood "Directioners" or "Beliebers". Maybe now I'll get a taste of what I missed out on when I was a teen. I guess I can now consider myself a "5er".

Before I know it, it's 5am. I go back to Twitter and tweet:

"Good news: I've consoled myself to a rational state.

Bad news: It only took a boy band and 6 hours of binge watching them to get there."

I go back to YouTube and look at the most recent video on the IM5band channel; it's a promotional video for something called "The Grow Wild Tour".

Wait, are they on tour right now??? Are they coming around the Chicago area!?

I watch the video and see that they'll be in Chicago at the Bottom Lounge on May 14th.

....I HAVE to be there!