I Never Meant To Say Okay

1 Arina

**Trigger warning SA

Leaves have a funny way of flying away from the tree they come from. Sure they may be falling- but they make sure to wither away from the very thing that was killing it out in the first place.

That's how I felt now- like I was withering away as I stared at my dorm room's door. It was so close-yet so far. I could practically feel my hands wrapping around the handle and escaping the tree that is draining the life out of me slowly. But there was one devastating factor keeping me from my freedom. From flying away to safely wither and panic in peace. That Factor's name was Sean.

Sean. A man a foot taller than me blocked the door as he kept repeating the same words over and over while I tuned him out and tried to plan my escape.

"Everyone else is doing it! I was nice- when I didn't have to be. I've waited and it's already our second date so don't you think you owe me something?"

The most weaponess thing I have in here is my ruler. And he could snap that with his fingers... just like how he could snap my neck

"I don't want to do it Sean. I'm not going to- not now anyways. I just- we're in my dorm on a Saturday afternoon and I have dinner with my friends soon."

He turns to me-his face angry as he tries pleading.

"Like I said Arina, I've been nice. I've waited when everyone is usually doing it on the first date. Stop being so immature about it. It won't take long and I can drop you off to dinner with your friends afterwards."

He's still in front of the door. His face is slowly growing red in what I'd like to hope is just irritation and not anger.

I don't want to make him mad. What is he going to do if he gets mad?

Just say yes and get him out

Its my first time i-

Say it or he'll take it.

He's going to take it either way isn't he?

The battle going on inside my head won't stop and I can feel myself become restless as my eyes frantically scan my room.

Ty is gone. She left to stay with her parents for the weekend so she won't be coming back until Monday. My rep is too far down the hall and these walls aren't thin enough for someone to get here in time. Panicing, I turn to my desk and stare at it pitifully while fighting the burning sensation in my eyes as tears start to seem like they were going to fall.

A, Fucking. Pencil case. That's all I had. I didn't even have a goddamn stapler in this room.

Tilting my head upward I counted the ceiling tiles while my foot started to knock frantically against my ankle. A nervous tick that I thought had stopped. But now it's as if my brain thinks I can Dorthy my way out of this if I just click my heels together enough.

I can call my cousin. Jay will find me- he'll stop him- he won't

Your phone is behind Sean-charging. You let him plug it in next to the door instead of on your desk where it's supposed to be.

He- he planned it out.

I slowly turn around to face him. My eyes widen as I look towards my phone and see the condoms next to it. Assorted perfectly covering it as I watched my notifications ping.

My friends are wondering where I am. It has to have been at least an hour now since we've been like this.

"Sean- that's probably my friends wondering where I am."