FOR HIM [Lando Norris] ~ Gridlock Series Stand Alone ~

12 Years Later

Landon

I don't have any memories, yet it feels like I contain thousands of them. Old pictures and videos introducing me to the man who is my father, yet I wasn't honoured to chance to know him. Not for myself anyway. I'm surrounded by people who share a common respect for him, ensuring me he was the greatest thing to happen to their lives, but I don't get to have him in mine. I hold grief and anger which I times I feel like I'm not entitled too. Mum and Charles say his memory lives on in me, but I don't know if that's a burden or a blessing. How is it possible to carry the legacy of a man you don't even know. But regardless of memories, regardless of knowledge, I'm part of him. No time, no experience can change that fact. I am Lando Norris' son. Now and forever.

This room exists in my house, it has for as long as I've known, and Mum calls it our special place. A place to remember him, a place to honour him. A place to think of him. But I think about him every single day. I'm forever being told I look exactly like him, that it scares some people just how identical my features represent his. So I stare at my reflection in the mirror and will myself to see my father looking back at me.

I walk towards the shelving units, each cube holding either a specific helmet, frame or trophy that belonged to my father, that now belongs to this room. My hands clench onto the fluro yellow and blue one, one that had always been my favourite. Mum said even as a baby, it would be the one that would attract me the most. Lifting it up, I gaze into the visor, the reflection of my own eyes creating a memory that show's my fathers blue eyes looking back into mine. The fake memory makes me sad.

"There you are" Mum gushes as she pokes her head into the room, "It's nearly time to go, Landon"

"Sorry Mum" I apologise, drifting my eyes from her, back to the helmet.

She crosses the room, coming up behind me and placing her hands onto my shoulders, "You don't need to be sorry. Is everything okay?"

I nod my head even though I don't mean it. "What time is Uncle Max coming?"

"He'll be here in about 20 minutes, do you want something to eat before you go? I know how you two are, you'll be at the track until supper" she mocks.

I nod my head again, "Yeah okay".

Uncle Max takes me down to the local karting track every Friday. He's helping me to become more confident in my braking so I can hit the corners quicker, hopefully get some more overtakes.

Everyone tells me just how great my dad was and I haven't won a single trophy since I started karting. I haven't even gone onto the podium for real. Uncle Max and Charles say that it will take time, but maybe I'm just not cut out for it.

My dream since I was little was to be exactly like my dad. Become World Champion in the Formula 1, racing for McLaren, just like he did. Uncle Max wants me as Red Bull as he is the Team Principal over there, but Charles wants me at Ferrari where he used to drive.

No matter how much I love Uncle Max and Charles, I feel like McLaren is the only place for me, and they'd never take a kid who can't even win at karting.

"You know you can talk to me, Landon?" Mum informs, placing a kiss on the side of my cheek.

"I know, I just feel bad" I admit.

Mum crouches down so she's at height level with me, "Why do you feel bad sweetheart?"

Her concern look on her face makes me feel bad. Mum still cries over losing Dad. She thinks I don't hear her, but when she thinks I'm sleeping, I'll sneak down when I hear her crying, and she's usually in this room, looking at his pictures and sobbing. I feel bad that she lost him.