The worst kind of sadness I ever get. Is when everything around me is good. I'll be having a good day, but as you sit there in the back seat of the car you start thinking and thinking.
Then your thoughts get mixed.
You start crying silently
Out of anger and a sad reality.
Your mind will start coming up with horrible thing that never actually happened but they seem to real not to believe.
I couldn't explain it because I would sounds crazy.
You message your friends you aren't feeling to happy.
Then regret it as soon as its sent and ignore them. You hate yourself more.
You simply cannot stand bringing other people into the hell that brings you down everyday.
Then there's when you get home.
You go to lay down but your not sleeping because every time you close your eyes terrible thoughts start conunging back real or not. But you can't sleep until it's 3a.m. and you wake up.
Not leaving your bed for a minute. Just sitting up and that mirror you have makes you face once again the sad reality of what you've become.
And then the thoughts cane back.
But your to exhausted to care anymore so you sleep until 2 in the afternoon.
Then your left wondering.
Where the hell do I go from here
