Jacob black y/n

Ocean

Ocean.

Angry, dark blue ocean spacing out in-front of me.
Rolling and splashing and colliding into waves and currents. I watch as the strong wind from a thunder storm coming in blow trees enough to make them sway. I watch as branches fall into the obis that lays under the cliff I was standing on.

I look down into the beautiful navy waves and I can't see under far. What goes down there will not come out. Hard, loud waves crashing against the sharp rock that leads up to the cliff face I'm standing on top of.

The water looks peaceful under the chaos that's on the surface.

I want to feel peaceful. I want to feel the feelings of being free.
That's why I came to his cliff face. The choice I am making is so I can go to a better place.
It is a choice. I'm not blaming anyone for this. No one. What I am about to do is for me and me only.

I don't want to live anymore. I don't want to leave every single day with the feelings I'm not good enough, I'm not beautiful like the other girls, how my body is the weirdest in every room, how everyone hates me, how my family died trying to see me. I have a internal sadness inside of me that is getting deeper.

I bring bad things into life. So I'm taking myself out of it so I don't bring anymore pain.

I got a concussion about 2 months ago, and mg friend took me to the hospital. I did get it at her house. But my parents found out, and drove to the hospital to see me.

They were at a bar. And they had to many drinks.

They does trying to see me.

I blame myself for there death. If I wasn't careless with flipping into a pool. They would still be alive.

I feel the tears stream down my face. The warm liquid trickles towards my mouth, then I taste salt.
I haven't cried in a while. It feels good to cry.

My vision is quickly clouded by my tears. Look at me. Crying. How sad. I thought I could do this without crying.

Stupid Y/N. No good at anything.

I look down at the shards of sharp cold water below me. I get chills down my back. I look down what what I'm wearing. I'm wearing straight leg Levi jeans and a baggy hoodie. How am I still cold. My sweater is thermal. I think I'll sink in this. Hopefully...

I reach up and brush my hair out of my face and I grab my necklace around my neck. It was my moms. It's a pink cross.
"Oh god. Please bless me on this journey and for fill me. Please god let me go peacefully." I whisper under my breath. My voice is sore from crying and cracked on the last part.

I look down at my fate, then I step off.

It doesn't even feel real. I watch as I get closer. What I'm focusing on is getting closer, but what's around it is moving farther away. My stomach doesn't even feel like it's in me. My hearing goes in and out and so does my vision. I feel like I'm going to black out.

Then my feet hit a hard cold surface and I go into cold knives and my head goes under.