Alls Related Pain

I hate that

I hate you I do.
But I hate myself even more for letting you in.
I hate that I let you convince that what we had was real.
It was all a game.
It hurts knowing that all the time I wasted on something I held so much hope for was nothing real.
I hate that I let you lead me on.
I hate that every time you looked at me, I fell in love even more.
I hate that I was too slow to realize there was someone else other than me.
I hate the fact that I showed my weak side.
I hate that I was vulnerable with you.
I hate that i let you hold me when I was down, only to see that it wasn't sincere.
I hate that I let you take advantage of my emotions.
I hate that every time I broke down, it didn't seem like you were there for me.
I hate the fact that I got too comfortable for something that wasn't yet for me to desire.
I hate that every-time you looked at another girl, it seemed as if she made you as happy as I did
I hate that I put in more effort.
I hate that I believed you every time you said, "I love you"
I hate that when we argued, I'd shut down and lose myself.
I hate that I blamed myself for every little imperfection you had.
I hate that I have to look my future child in the eyes, and tell her that you were my biggest heartbreak
I hate that we planned a future, only to never see it
I hate that I cried myself to sleep every night, because I over thought the idea of us never working.
I hate that it was so easy for you to replace me, but so hard for me to let you go.
I hate that my family had to see me struggle
I hate that I helped you fix your imperfections, only for you to treat someone else as good as you did me.
I hate that your love wasn't real.
I hate that I let you hold my heart, only for you to break it
I hate that every time we had a disagreement you'd find it easy to make it seem as though I wasn't there
I hate that I have to write how I really feel, because I know I could never build up the strength to really tell you.