1000 Ways To Say I Hate You

𝕮𝖍𝖆𝖕𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝕺𝖓𝖊

The past
16 Years Ago 

Laila POV

"One more big push for me Mrs. Kiselyov," my midwife says while looking deep into my eyes. As I feel another wave of pain wash over me, I gather all my strength and reply,

"I can do this. Just a little bit more." Deep down, I know that this final push will bring my baby into the world, and the words of encouragement from my midwife give me the strength I need to do so.

"Argh" I cried out in pain as I pushed with all my might. It felt as if my opening was being set on fire while being ripped apart. At this moment, I was going in and out of consciousness.

The pain was too much and the epidural was wearing off. All I could do was hold onto my midwife's hand praying I had pushed enough.

"Waaah waaah!" It's a baby boy! Someone yelled out. Tears had tickled down my face. I was happy that I had finally pushed him out, now I needed to see my sweet boy. I try to slightly open my eyes so I could make out what my child looked like.

I was finally able to catch a glimpse of my newborn son. He was beautiful, his skin was slightly tanned just like his dad when he's goes surfing in the summertime. His eyes matched his dad's as well a fierce blue that made chills run down your spine.

He had a small patch of blonde hair that was curly. I smiled because you could kinda see he was made by a black woman. Before I could examine him once, I was brought back to reality. "Mr. Kiselyov you're finally here" The midwife called out. As she said that I could hear slight fear in her voice.

I look up to see Florian standing right at the foot of the bed. His gaze was focused on me then to our son. His blonde hair was neatly arranged in a bun. He smiled, and his blue eyes shone. I could feel my heart swell once again.

"Sir, would you like to come and cut the umbilical cord?" He nodded and stepped closer. A pair of metal scissors was handed to him. And in one snip the cord was cut and our son was handed over to Florian. That was when my eyes became too heavy and a wave of tiredness flew right over me.

A Few hours Later

"May there always be my mum, may there always be me. Quieter, soldier. Do you hear, a soldier?" I heard Florian sing in Russian. It was an old war lullaby his mom sang to him and his brothers all the time. He was singing it to our son. I had fully opened my eyes and he noticed. "ты встал" He spoke in russian.

I nodded then sat up. "He looks just like you." I say lowly. He nodded. "Can we talk, please it's about the baby?" I ask as my voice quivers slightly.

Florian glares at me. I knew he was analyzing me  to see my thoughts. Returning the glare. It was as if I had grown some confidence. "Do you want me to only focus on you at the moment? He asks.

Florian then goes to ring the bell for one of the house staff and she immediately come in. "Yes sir?" she asks. "Please take him". The staff nods then whisks my baby away.

He then gets up and sits right beside me on the bed. "I'm all yours" he spoked. I look at him and my feelings washes away. His hair was now down and his outfit had changed. His suit was now grey sweat pants and a wife beater. One of his collarbone tattoo's were on full display. "Лалия "  It was my name in Russian. His gaze was intense and I could feel my heart racing.

"Are you going to take him away like you said ?" I ask looking up at him. Florian nods. "But that's my kid Florian, he needs his mother and you know that." I say pleading to him.

"Laila we went over this. He cannot grow attachment's to people or have soft spots and you are prone to become one of those if I let you see him often him. He says nonchalantly.

Florian words hit like thousand knifes. I turn not facing him in shock."Florian, I know you mean well, but this is not only your decision." "Really?" He said raising his eyebrow.

"I was just in labor a couple of hours ago, Please rethink this. I respond back.

" You say that as if it holds some kind of weight." Florian said grabbing my face and turning it towards him. His grip was tight and his eyes were cold. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I looked up at him. I trembled in fear as he released my face.

"Don't look like that ,you'll see him from time to time. You'll pump and the maids will feed him." He spoke while smiling at me. Tears began to drop and roll down my cheeks. It was as if I were a cow, to be milked and used for milk.

Florian's callous words and controlling behavior shattered any remaining sense of security and love I had for him.

In that moment, I realized that I was nothing more than an object to him, stripped of my autonomy and reduced to a mere provider of milk for our child. The tears streaming down my face were a testament to the emotional torment I was enduring.

I just couldn't put up with this anymore. It'll stopped so abrupt, Florian had changed. And I knew if I didn't leave soon I would die here. But the thought of leaving my child behind sickened me. I knew it'd be impossible for me to leave with him. I would never get past the guards and the alarms would be set off.

Getting out of here was only an option for me and i just had to take it. Once I had healed up and got my plan in motion. I'd never come and Florian would never see me again.

Once I had healed up and got my plan in motion, I would wait for a moment when Florian was distracted or away from the mansion. I would then discreetly gather some essential belongings and cash, ensuring I had enough to sustain myself .

With careful precision, I would navigate past the guards, using my knowledge of the estate's layout to my advantage.

And I'd be free.

 

Author's Note,
I hope you guys like this chapter! Just shinning a little light on Laila past. And if you're a returning reader, I have revised the book!🤗