Isabel's Songbook

In My Head

[Mentions and Triggers: Drugs, slight language, alcohol, violence, weapons, kind of r@pe.]

(Instrumental relaxing sounds)

Sitting in my room, nothing to do.

The fact I'm interested in the likes of you

Says a lot bout me, my personality, *soft chuckle* what is wrong with me?!...

(Piano keys)

One minute I think you're there, the next you're gone.

What kinda drugs do you think I'm on?

It's not like I need 'em....I just want them.

(Instrumental music getting instense.)

It's funny, yeah.

These things got me messed up in the head.

The only things heard are the words, "I wish you were dead."

I only wanted to have someone I could count on.

Someone I could cry on.

But no, you're gone, you're not there,

Break my heart one more time and I'll kill you, I swear.

It's not me, its all them.

. . .

And then he comes to me, and says,

"I'm all yours, darling."

But he treats me like a toy.

He makes me play all these damn games.

Make me sell my body like a stupid decoy.

Screw you man . . .

Everyone's messed up in the head.

Hmm . . .

~

I always wondered whether it was real or a making of my mind

It's no wonder, how could one ever be so kind? (It's all just in your mind.)

And then I go to the cabinets

Find some wine,

Ooh, that girl looks so divine.

Nothing like me, meant to be.

Trying to get a simple charm right

Tamper with my memory, numb the pain.

Not like it's something I could use to gain.

Uh oh, father's opening the door-

I look to my right, realizing I want more.

He opens it, asks, "How've you been?"

I give him a smile, say it's okay

He clearly knows somethings up,  but just leaves me to be.

I take a look at life and think, "What the fudge?"

He turned his back on me

Been only a day but yet it feels like eternity.

I miss you way too much and I know it's not right

But my love for you is something that I must fight! 

I hit the wall

Watch my whole life fall

I can't do nothing.

~

These things got me messed up in the head.

The only things heard are the words, "I wish you were dead."

I only wanted to have someone I could count on.

Someone I could cry on.

But no, you're gone, you're not there,

It's nothing, nothing at all

Put me down again and again

Then grab my waist, say, "It's okay."

Well then, screw those words!

They're as fake as our relationship.

I don't know how you were raised,

Not better than me, I hope

Now I look and grab the knife,

Sneak outta my window 

Walk to your house

Wonder "Is it really worth it?"

Then I turn back around 

Hold it to my heart then trip (trip).

(Laughing)

(Whisper)

Right, forgot you can't break what's broken.