Backstory
── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
You are staying at a nearby hotel in Berlin where 'Tokio Hotel', a band which you have loved for as long as you remember, are playing a show, performing their latest album "Scream". Since you're already staying quite close to t...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
________.✮.________
I wander the busy streets of Berlin, near the hotel which I booked into just a couple of nights ago. I have been saving up for this trip for months, hoping to visit some of the universities in Berlin, since I dropped out a year prior. I long for a new path in my life, something that could take me to bigger places, with more opportunities. After dropping out I started working on some music, an art I've always been interested in but never fully grasped as an adult. However, soon I found my passion for creation to be out of my budget as I didn't have the money for guitar lessons or a vocal coach; and so my music career plummeted to the ground before I could catch it. Left hopeless and with no other excuse to move out of my small and shitty town, I took my parent's advice and went looking for universities which would consider taking me in for a fresh start, where I am now. The big city of Berlin.
________.✮.________
Still walking along the grimy pavement, I finally snap out of my thoughts and focus on the world before me. The city is already darkening with the afternoon shade; some streetlights flickering, waiting for the night to absorb all light so that they can blare their shine. It's the summer, and the air is thick with its hot atmosphere seeping into my clothes and the top of my scalp. Looking above, I notice how dark the day has gotten, and dash to my watch to check the time. 7:18pm. Shit, I think. The doors to the concert are already open, meaning that the show would start at any moment now. In light panic, I quicken my pace and rush down the dark street with lengthy and quick strides, streetlights lighting up behind me after each step. As I feel my heart beginning to mimic my steps, beating along to my rhythm, my legs start to run. I rush down the street until stopping at the sight of a tight alleyway, which through its shadows, revealed the concert venue on the other side. Sick, a shortcut. Without a second thought, I turn to my side and take big steps through the tight gap, feeling the walls rub against my back before reaching the venue at last. As I step out onto the other side, I see that the queue into the building has mostly cleared up, leaving only parents of fans and smokers lighting their last cigarette before the concert huddled around the front doors. The bouncer who guards the doors to the building stands firmly in his spot, arms crossed, suffocating his biceps in a knot across his chest. The sunglasses on his face barely and dig into the bridge of his nose; I catch a glimpse of my reflection in them as I approach him, his stone-cold expression unchanged. "Hey." I say nodding my head at him yet he doesn't budge. Not knowing what to say or...do, we stand in silence for what feels like a lifetime, before he blurts out in a croaky and demanding voice. "Ticket and ID" Surprised by his sudden demand, I stumble to rip my backpack off me and rummage for the goods. After showing him both my ticket and ID, I hand him my bag and watch as he searches it, giving all of my life belongings a quick glance and stripping them of any value.
He clicks his tongue "Watch broken?" He mutters sarcastically, referring to my...bad timing. "Can I go?" I say as my impatience grows thicker and clumps in my stomach, worried that I'm missing the show. He looks me up and down, lacking any expression and pats me down. He has to be fucking with me. Standing still with my arms up and spread in the air, he nods, signalling that I'm good to go in, at last. I grab my bag from his claws and speed by the people outside, briefly breathing in their cigarette smoke and feeling it scratching my throat with its sharp scent. I rush through the front doors, trusting that the black carpet which lays in front of me will guide me to the concert, Ignoring all of the signs and posters which scream the band's name in my face as I pass. "Tokio Hotel".
"COME AND RESCUE ME...I'M BURNING CAN'T YOU SEE?" The deafening riffs from the bass and guitar dive into my ears as I rush into the room, the sound waves flowing through me and clogging in my throat. I feel the scattered rocks on the ground beneath me, bouncing to the beat of the drums and the jumps of fan girls, screaming their lungs dry, "Bill!" their screeches piercingly loud, hoping that he hears. The beaming red lights above travel across the room and each time they pass the crowd, they light up and reveal a different cheering face, dancing to the music. Seeing that the room is already filled to the brim with heads crowding near the stage, I stay at the back of the room near the mini bar, where a cameraman is balancing his gadget on his left shoulder, trying to capture a good shot of the band.
"THE WALLS ARE COMING CLOSER....MY SENSES FADE AWAY!" The song plays, the fans sing, I look up at the lead singer, Bill; the microphone brushing against his lips. The fans jump and yell as he steps closer to the edge of the stage, waving his arms and grazing the mic stand with his manicured hand, chipped with black polish. I notice the lights behind him peering through his giant spiky hair, making his head glow like a large beacon in the night, attracting all the light-starved moths to him. He lights up the stage, quite literally and due to his infectious burst of energy, bringing life to the room. How beautiful. I can't believe I'm finally seeing the band live, the excitement and adrenaline of the moment rushes through me when I realise how long I've been a fan of them, and hadn't seen them until now. Filled with sudden delight, I walk up to the crowd of fans, huddled together in a tight cluster, all the way from the barrier before the stage to the middle of the room. I try to fit through the small gaps in the crowd, but I am pushed out of the hassle before I can even put both of my feet on the ground. As I slowly back away, I hear the crowd burst into cheers and yells as the blaring lights dim. I'm about to push my way through the crowd again, when I stop, the room darkening and leaving the crowd in a red wash of light.
The crowd grows quiet, awaiting the loud music to burst through the speakers. shuffling feet and tumbling rocks echo around the room as I wait with the rest of the crowd. Suddenly the lights brighten, now flashing a deep red as they travel across the room once again. The lead singer reveals a megaphone from behind his back, turning its deafening siren on; it echoes through the room, shooting in through my ear and out of the other. The electric guitar begins playing, taking turns to strum through the large speakers on either side of the room. "YOU GET UP...AND SOMEBODY TELLS YOU WHERE TO GO TO!". It's 'Scream'! The band performs the song with all their might, since it is probably the most anticipated song of the night. The crowd all jump to the beat of the song, and so do I. The cameraman glances at me jumping next to him, and shifts slightly away from me.
"NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN NEIN!" Bill points the microphone to the crowd of fans beneath him, and they yell the lyrics to him, some just simply yelling his name and some sobbing the lyrics into an inaudible mumble. As the song builds up to the chorus, my jumping slows, admiring the shining band and their crowd. The chorus plays: "SCREAM!..'TIL YOU FEEL IT...SCREAM!..'TIL YOU BELIEVE IT!" The ear-shattering music makes me stumble back a little while I gaze at the stage, joy and awe rushing through my red veins, turned invisible under the red lights above. At once, I close my eyes, I feel my hands rise to my mouth, and I scream as loud as I can. I scream and howl as if my throat is trying to escape me, my mouth quickly drying from the sudden exposure. I scream until I know I am louder than everyone else in the room, until I hear people stopping, until I feel heads turning; and I don't care. The cameraman is now closer to the loud crowd. I open my eyes after my breath finally escapes me, and we lock eyes. The music gently fades out of my ears as I look ahead of me. The music, the lights, the crowd, now only a faint background to this sight. Bill is looking right at me, smiling wide as he sings into the microphone. I swallow my spit and smile back at him, shocked that he heard me all the way from the back. As the next verse begins, he looks at me for a second longer until breaking his stare, now singing to the rest of the crowd. The music dives back in through my ears and into my throat again, and I feel it rushing through me once more. I am completely stunned, and yet, I can't help but dance.
For the rest of the night, I dance and jump and sing at the back of the room, stuck in my own world. From time to time I feel the eyes of curious fans glued to me, but I don't let them stop me, not caring if my kicks and jumps are on beat or not. I haven't felt myself let go like this in forever. Just by being here, I feel as if I am back in my childhood room again, dancing to the songs I made and singing the verses I wrote all day. It makes me realise how much I miss music; the catchy rhymes, the melodies writing themselves, the addicting beats. The guys on stage, lighting up the room with their presence, makes me envious of their luck. And not only their luck and the love they get, but the passion for their craft, that they never lost. I breathe, and remember where I am. I don't want to get lost in thought just now, not here. So I just keep dancing, lost in the verses I could've wrote.
