Life is strange.. no matter how hard you try to lead your life into a normal path it doesn't goes that way it always finds a way to trap ourselves. There she was standing infront of one of the bookshelves as she dusted the dirt away. She was wearing a normal creme coloured shirt and some matching jeans to go with it , as her hair was braided and the same old dull look stayed on her face. I sighed as I knew the reason behind her dullness. For her she never fits in the chart of beauty apperance , for her .. her dark skin was a disaster, her brown freckles was ugly , her glasses were a headache , her fluffy cheeks were fat and her lips never suited her face. Inshort she never ever appreciated her appearance neither people helped her with that instead she got looks and comments of judgmental which did nothing but pull her confidence more low. There she was .. the love of my life Olivia. Only if she knew that her dark skin shined, her freckles added attraction, her glasses were not a headache, her cheeks were cute , and her lips looks perfectly fine. Only if.. only if she ever looked at the way I look at her. She would've been in love with herself.
I didn't knew I was zoning out for a way too long when I heard a voice pulling me out of my don't know what. "Seungmin you ok?" I look up to meet the son of the bookshop owner i work at , I gave a little nod. He gave me a pat and I didn't had to turn my back to know where he go after that .. i exactly knew that he went towards her approaching her and asking her wherebouts. What crept in me was disappointment.. it was obvious that she had a crush on him , everytime he would walk pass or talk i would find herself smiling adoringly. But she never spoke anything about her feelings to anyone neither me .. maybe afraid? Or maybe nervous? I don't blame her even i would've caught feeling if i was a girl , that guy is ...... I paused as i sighed before continuing that guy is everything i can never be. So much of a mess yet I knew that guy had no interest in her , still i can't help but be a bit envious.
As I was walking away to the cash counter I heard someone squeal their high pitched voice i mentally sighed knowing damn well it was the daughter of my boss , shouting in a book shop cause first she can it's her father's shop and second she is excited and shipping her brother with the one I love. It annoyed me , to the point where i think it's better if i leave this job but then i start thinking of her and i change my mindset as this shop is the only place we share some words. Something in me tells me i should let go of the feelings I hold for her .. seeing the shy smile in her face everytime she is around the other guy. Maybe she is happier with him .. maybe it was supposed to work like this with me being left out alone while the other guy gets the girl and I stay behind quiet and unwanted. I went home earlier than before that day not even bothering to bid anyone goodbye like I do everyday. The mess in my head was too much , i cycled my way through the busy roads and park it in my yard making sure to look it it before i enter my house. Fresh smell of roasted up food was in the air as i knew my mom was cooking I was hungry, but i refused to have dinner when she called me to have making up a lie about being full. I felt bad for lying obviously but I knew i needed some time alone , with all the voices going in my head. The voice in my head kept on telling me to give up and my heart kept on protesting asking me to not. I stood up from my bed and walked over my study table furiously grabbing the old album. I flipped over pages and ultimately found what I was looking for ... Her pictures.
We had a gathering that day a small picnic sorta thingy. Where she , me and others were there. I made sure to bring my camera with me that day , knowing well to capture every moment as a part of memory. That day we say together and she offered me help as i spilled some coffee over my polo shirt. Its still fresh to me , I was worried sick about the stain not going off from my shirt as she immediately grabbed tissues and started wipping. When she and others were worried about me and my shirt I was cheekily smiling from ear to ear. Having her near me was enough to make my day , I used the excuse of picnic to click pictures yes I did click pictures of everyone but I made sure to click her every moment in my camera. And all of them are safe with me. The next day she asked me to share th photos after taking it out a copy of it. I smiled and said I'd gladly give her i remember how happy and proud she was cause of how the photos turned out , she appreciated me alot.
