Break up ?

Future Type

 I walk around the flat. I just got out of class. Tharn was finishing before me today, yet I don't see him in the studio, or in the bathroom. I set my things down next to the couch. On the other hand, I scan the room for a clue as to where Tharn might be; the guitar is there, in its cover next to the bed, I see the drum sticks in the front pocket. So Tharn is not in rehearsal. Where could he have gone?

I reach for my phone in my pocket. However, I know it's wrong to always want to know where your better half is, but... it would make me feel better to know where he is. The silence in the flat is making me anxious lately, I feel like Tharn is never home. I don't know what he does when he's not here, and... and I don't like it. On the other hand, I know it's normal not to be stuck in a relationship all the time. Nevertheless, these days, that's what I'd like to be stuck to him all the time, never to leave him again. I refuse to let us drift apart, like those couples who only stay together out of habit.

So, I unlock my phone, I'll just text him to let him know I'm here... That's not too intrusive, right? I'm in my thoughts when I feel two arms wrap around my waist, a torso press against my back and lips resting on the back of my neck. Tharn has returned, he's here with me. I smile, any dark thoughts I may have had disappearing. Tharn's mere presence reassures me of all my fears.

I turn around to face my boyfriend, who takes the opportunity to peck at my lips. How could I have thought for a single second that we would be able to become one of those couples who only stay together out of habit?

I follow Tharn as he breaks away from me and heads for the kitchen area. The bag in his hands tells me that he had simply gone to buy tonight's meal. Knowing him, he would have wanted to get home before me. Bad luck for him, I walked faster than usual, I was rushing to see him. He takes two dishes out of the bag, seeing them, I have no doubt which one he bought for me, and which one he bought for himself. The dishes are red, but one of tomato sauce and the other of spice.

So, we sit down at our little table, Tharn tells me about his day. I tell him mine in return. I feel a headache coming on, so I automatically reach for the box on the table. Therefore, I take out a tablet and swallow it with a little water. I can see Tharn's eyebrows furrowed, he doesn't like it when I fill myself with medicine. However, I can't help it, I can't have a headache now, the exams are coming up, and I have to stay focused as much as possible.

Tharn thinks for a few minutes, he opens his mouth, but nothing comes out. I read his lips, but I don't understand anything. Tharn is silent, he thinks... Has he understood that he has lost his voice? I hand him a glass of water to help him find it. Then he looks at the glass, unfortunately, he pushes it away. Why does he do this?

"I went to freshen up during this afternoon's rehearsal," I listen as Tharn successfully finds his voice, not even a throat-clearance. "I was about to enter the rehearsal room when a person asked me for directions... I walked a few steps with him to show him the s... the hallway to take," I feel Tharn stumbled over a word, strange? "Lhong came out of the corridor and pointed at me, in return, you...".

I don't listen to Tharn any more. Did Lhong hit him? Why would he hit someone he loves? I look at Tharn, he looks frustrated, he takes my face in his hands and slowly opens his mouth. But I don't hear him, my eyes are fixed on his eye. It is swollen... And, a little purple... How could I not see before Tharn had a black eye?

I stand up, forcing Tharn to let go of my face, kneel in front of Tharn, this time taking his face in my hands. I look at his eye, then... it all comes back to me... The night someone hit him... It wasn't Lhong, it was me. I hit Tharn... I hit a person I loved, not Lhong.

Tharn's face disappears in my hands, he wants to say something... That he will never forgive, that he hates me? I don't know, I can't hear him any more... I wake up in my bed, alone, as I have been for two months. After that night, I never saw Tharn again, in real life at least. Besides, I changed universities during the summer break, for my third year. So, I left everything behind, hoping that Tharn could find someone who deserved it, and not like me. However, sometimes selfishly, I wish Tharn were with me, holding me and telling me that everything will be okay.