6:57 PM
Paddy's pub
"Mac! I get it you're out and proud or whatever but you can't keep staying at the club every night. You need sleep!"
"Dennis I've spent the last two decades denying who I am. You stopping me from trying to sleep with dudes is honestly homophobic!"
"THERE ARE BAGS UNDER YOUR EYES, AND YOU FALL ASLEEP ON THE JOB!"
"I always slept on the job. Wasn't a problem till I came out!"
"Ummm excuse me?!" Both of the arguing men turned to me. "Sorry but I'm looking for Ronald Macdonald?!"
"Yeah that's me! I prefer Mac tho. Who might you be?"
"I'm your sister.."
"That's false. I don't have a sist-"
"Mac! Mac let's the gorgeous woman talk. What's your name dear" the blonde man said with a mischievous and gross flirtation.
"I'm Kelly Macdonald. So Mac. Your dad, aka my dad had an affair with a prison guard aka my mom and boom I'm here"
"FALSE FALSE. MY DAD WOULD NEVER CHEAT ON MY MOM"
" Mac your father has slept with multiple whores"
"And my mom!"a shorter man says emerging from what I assume is a basement?
"Like I said many whores"
"MY MOTHER ISNT A WHORE"
"Yes she is?!"
All three erupted with anger, verbally shouting insults and half hearted threats until I couldn't take it anymore.
"STOOOOOOOP! I came here because as we both know dad died and now my mother died and I was hoping to have some type of family left on this earth with me. I have the DNA test to prove it if it's so hard fit you to fathom."
"Shit. It's right DNA never lies"
"So what are you like just a gay alcoholic?"
"Yes! But I was once a straight alcoholic" Mac said in a proud manner
"Ok now we're getting somewhere, we'll I'm a pornstar so dad would be proud of us wouldn't he?"
"No he wouldn't"
"Pornstar you sayyy", the blonde one moved closer and I took a step back, "I'm somewhat of a movie star myself if you ever wanted to"
"No! That's my sister you freak"
"Yeah!" It's been ten minutes and my half brother was already sticking up for me
"Mac you had sex with my mother! A MONTH BEFORES SHE DIED!"
"It's not my fault I'm irresistible to women, just a shame the can't have me"
"Point is I don't wanna make a porno with you I don't even know your name"
"Oh right Kelly this is Dennis (don't sleep with him) and that's Charlie. And we're all best friends"
"Kelly?!?" Charlie shrieked "that's my last name!"
"Really? Does that mean your Irish?"
"I am. So is Mac that's why we own the bar!"
"Correction", Dennis said, "we own the bar you're just a janitor"
"Bullshit!"
Mac tried to deescalate the argument "Charlie we've been over this you sold have your shares to me and the other half to Dennis"
"Could I get in on the shares?"
"No you're not replacing me"
"I doubt you can pay for it"
"How much for half of your shares?"
"Both of us?"
"Yeah"
"10 grand each"
"Sold"
"What?!?!!"
