[ You pick up a strange book from inside the bottom of an old trunk found in the attic. You notice a smudge of blood across a pink cover as you begin to leaf through the ancient wisdom inside... ]
Dear Diary, OMG OMG guess WHaaAATTT! I am starting a Diary today!!!!! Wow, I am sooO smart & trendy!! I love myself so much :))))) - Love Spicy
Dear Diary,
Heyy, it's MEEE again! I am just SOOoOO amazinG!! Got my nails done today in super duper razor sharp acrylic sparkling blood red ruby style!!! Did I say I am amazing? I so AMMMM!
- Spicy
Dear Diary,
Yass!! Today I became the QUEEN OF 6 !! Thasss right! I am so fabulous! Soon I graduate 6 grade, and I am already the QUEEN BEE of my gang of girls! There are 6 of us and we RULE the school! And I told them all to vote for me, so I got voted QUEEN OF 6 GRADE! Go Me!!!! - Spicy
P.S. And I honestly feel it is SO important to be nice to people and to think Positive in this world!
Dear Diary, I am feeling sooOO Negative and just sooOo mad at my Mom! She is terribly lazy and awfully MEAN :(((( and I just hate hate hate her bloody old guts!
Tomorrow is my monthly birth anniversary and also to celebrate 6 months before turning 13 and my rotten OLD Mom totally did NOT give me 13 Million Dollars like I told her to!!!! So I really hope she explodes and dies in a wrinkly old lady wrinkle explosion !!! :(((
- Spicy
Dear Diary, guess what, my nice Mom finally gave me the 13 Million Dollars she owes me!!! I'm still mad that today is my big day and now I got barely enough time to shop for my huge Party, but I guess she is almost an ok Mom (at least I hope she doesn't explode yet). - Spicy
P.S. (Oh yeah and remember to erase my last entry oopsies)
Hey Death, this is Elaine. I'm staying at my lame bimbo cousin's house. Her name is Spicy. She is so spoiled and has like a perfect life, just like a brattier more boring Barbie. Even her Diary is so gawdawfully boring. Jeez, wishing your Mom would explode is Kindergarten-tier (Eye Roll). Just to prank her dumb bimbo brain, I'm gonna write in her dumb Diary with invisible ink. Haha. She will never figure it out. - Elaine
Dear Diary, I caught my weird cousin Elaine in my room. She smells (bad) like moldy cat food and dirty laundry. Gross! She better not come in here again or touch my stuff or I will bite her! (and then brush my teeth afterward) - Spicy
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