On the day I was born, momma said the doc yanked me right outta there by my scraggly hair and then I was already swingin' my little arms and legs all around and ready to pick a fight!
Do you want to fight me? That's right — you don't.
Momma was a real big problem though. She tried to turn me into a little wuss! Yo, I didn't know better back then o'kay? When I was 6 years old I wore dresses to school cuz we were poor and that was all I got... my sisters' hand me down clothes. Hey, I was 6, what the hell did I know?
Thing was, some of them other boys in school said I was a nancy fancy boy and tried to push me around... Well, you know what? Wearin' them dresses actually helped me grow up tougher and fight meaner! Cuz when you get pushed and taunted so many times by them older kids, one day you finally got to stick up for yourself and you got to fight back!
And god damn it, did I fight back!
I remember one day when I was 7 and wearin' some ol' raggedy Ann dress just walkin' to school, when two 10 year old boys tried chuckin' rocks at me and callin' me a sissy. So I grabbed a stick nearby with a big ol' spider crawlin' on it and shoved that spider right down one boy's shirt and then I whacked the other boy red a-cross his bare legs! Them boys were the ones screamin' like little girls after that, not me! No sir!
But when I was 8 my momma died during a full moon.. she was havin' another baby and died in child birth just like that. So they sent me and all my sisters to go live with my old grandparents.
After that I got to wearin' grandpa's ol' workin' clothes and I was their only boy and them geezers were way too old to keep up with me — so basically I just did whatever I wanted to 'round there!
You name it, boy, and I did it! — firecrackers, pipe bombs, huntin' squirrels and birds with the BB gun, stealin' candy from the drug store, throwin' rocks and bustin' out windows, makin' all them girls cry, startin' up my first gang — I did it all. I was a bad news kid, a little terror, a real RASCAL!
That's how I got my name: RASCAL. Don't even remember my birth name anymore, and who gives a crap anyway. I'm just a Rascal, always been and always will be.
And the thing about me is, I don't care who you are or where you come from, how much money you got or if you got nothin' at all, if you real good lookin' or just an ugly old troll — people are just people, see? People got their weaknesses — everybody has got a weak spot. Every queen or bum or devil or angel has got somethin' about them you can turn right back on 'em — trick 'em or make use of 'em (if you know what I mean). And I can read anybody and I mean ANYBODY and learn what makes 'em tick...
That's how I get by, man, cuz life is tough out there on them mean streets and you got to keep MOVIN' and HUSTLIN' no matter what!
Love? Who needs it... love is an illusion, like sand in an hourglass — don't last long, and don't usually mean nothin' anyway. Nah I got better things to do than love. Got a problem with that?
That's right, I'm a Rascal.
Who the hell are you?
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