Loverboys// Tom KaulitzXreader(xBill)// Tokio hotel

9.

It was 4:20 at night, the boys and the driver were sleeping. You would have been too if you hadn't woken up. You were outside, sitting on the ground leaning against the bus and smoking a cigarette.
You were a complete asshole when you let Tom believe that you loved him but at the same time you cheated him with his brother... or you did love Tom but you also liked Bill... more than you should.

And again you started to feel anxious... why did these things always come to your mind at night, always when you were smoking...

You took the cigarette out of your mouth, raised your sleeve and stuck the cigarette to your skin.

"Shit" you say quietly.

It was hard to be at gigs these days when you had to wear a hoodie or long sleeves, you usually wore a top or a t-shirt at gigs so it wouldn't be so hot, you didn't want anyone to find out or start asking when none of the boys knew, and they shouldn't.

The next gig you were going to was France and Belgium. Then our tour was over and you could go back to Germany. In France you also had a meet&greet with the fans.

Right now you just wanted to go home.
You push the cigarette to your skin once more, look around a bit again and see a gray-black stone on the ground that looks like sharp, with small white spots.
You grab it from the ground and cut your arm with it, the rock was probably full of bacteria and other shit but it eased the anxiety.

You got a deep cut on your hand and it's starting to bleed.

"Shit" you say, you had nothing to wipe your hand with.

*in the morning*

"NA-NA-NA-NA-NEIN SCHREI, BIS DU DU SELBST BIST, SCHREI UND WENN ES DAS LETZTE IST" Bill screams while Tom plays guitar, Georg plays bass and Gustav beats the table with his hands.

That was your way of waking each other up when someone slept too long.

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" You yell at the boys.

"Nein nein nein nein nein nein nein nein nein nein Schrei Schrei Schrei!" Bill continues to scream.

You hit your head on the pillow a few times and land on the ground.
"Good morning my love" Tom shouts and rushes to hug you.
"There's nothing good in this, you fucking idiots" you say sarcastically in a slightly louder voice so the other boys can hear.

You break away from Tom's hug and walk to the Dining table opposite Georg.
"How's it going?" You ask Georg.
"Fine, soon we'll be in Austria," the boy replies.
"What time is it?" You ask.
"It's 2:30 p.m., sleepyhead" Georg looks at his wristwatch and answers.
"Oh-" you chuckle, you had slept quite late.

"Thankfully you finally woke up my dic- I MEAN SO I missed you" Tom says and sits next to you to hug you.
"Were you trying to be romantic" you giggle.

*in the evening*

You are painting Bill's nails at the dining table.
"Don't move" you tell the boy when he starts laughing.

You look up and see what Bill is laughing at, Gustav, Georg and Tom wrestle on the floor like little puppies.
You look at the boys sideways and chuckle a little.

"Yeah, wrestle over there and we'll do girlygirl things" Bill says proudly.
"Will you polish my nails too when I'm done?" You laugh.
"Of course" Bill replies excitedly.

You watch the boys wrestle, they pay no attention to you so you whisper to Bill...
"What happens now?"
"What do you mean?" Bill whispers back.
"Between the two of us... are we friends or what?"
"How many times have we agreed to just be friends?" Bill chuckles.
"I want Tom to be my boyfriend and you to be my best friend, Bill dear... let's forget this and try to be like before" you whisper.
"I have to get used to the idea that Tom got you before me, Y/n the most important thing for me is that you don't hate me" Bill says.
"No...I don't hate you, you are the kindest and most wonderful person in the world" you say.

"Thank you Y/n" Bill says and hugs you.

"Wait wait... your nails haven't dried yet" you laugh.
"Oh- sorry, now there's nail polish on your shirt" says Bill.

You chuckle and without thinking take your shirt off.

"OH MY GOSH!?" Bill flinches when he sees your hand. They were full of burns and cut marks.
"What happened to you!?" Bill asks in distress and grabs your wrists.

"Oh Bill it's okay... I fell on the asphalt at night when... when I was smoking" you lie.
"How both hands look like that, should I go to the doctor?!"
"No! Not like I spilled on both hands... I was really tired don't worry" you say putting your shirt back on.

Bill was sweet to care but stupid enough to believe your story about the crash.

"But don't tell the others not to worry... I'll go to the doctor if this starts to look worse" you say putting your hand on Bill's shoulder.
"Okey..."