𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝙲𝚊𝚐𝚎

Chapter one

Do you ever think about who are you ?
Who are you when you are not with your friends, not with your family
Not listening to music ,not reading a book or watching a television series.

When you are at your own presence
All alone,just you on your own
Who are you then?

Do you like who you are at those times? Can you bear the thought of being alone with yourself?

At times I wish I could see myself from anyone's eyes but my own
Isn't it terrifying to look at the mirror and see eyes filled with harted staring back at you?

After all, I was a monster

The unholy child,cursed by the devil itself

A child that needed to be gone

The reflection of myself,why did it caused such a huge pain at my heart?

Was that the first sign of going mad ?

All these thoughts hunting me down as I was running through the pitch black streets
running away from everything and anything
Running away from the hell that caged me down

It was raining heavily
I was getting soaked in the rain but I didn't even mind it
It didn't even bother me
How could it ? How could I dislike something that is a merely reminder that iam alive and free even if its just for a brief moment

I wanted to feel it with my soul

Rain is a gift

And with every gift comes along a cost

Rain feels like me

The more i see,the more i realise that a black and white vision is hallucination made by society

Because gray is the strongest colour in our world

And the dark sky filled with gravel-gray clouds today was a reminder of that

That even a child like me that is a monster to the eyes of her father still have a heart that crave to live

People were running over for covers, umbrellas were opened and some were making their ways to a shelter

All while I was getting drenched in water

A warm fuzzy feeling fills up my heart as a hint of nostalgia take over my head

Was it the smell of the rain? Or the wet stones?

What took my memory back there?

Maybe it was just deju vu

Not knowing the reason clearly

My feet were already on their way to that place on a attempt to feel comfort

_________

I was here now

I look around ,there were all sort of people here as always
Full of people bustling

In places like this
I could be anyone or perhaps no one at all
After all Only a person without an identity is free of responsibility

The crowd always feel like an ocean to me
full of depth
And me
Im just a sole raindrop falling my way to a beach Adoring ocean from far

But even with all that

I yet did not have any courage to participate in any conversation as the fear of not fitting in was sculptured on my heart

I still enjoy watching them from far tho

It makes me feel fuzzy and warm that there are happy people at this world too who go out with their friends and
Their families