The BEAST in the mirror

....

I held the pistols in my hands, which were weighed down by my gloomy thoughts. I was faced with a choice that would change not only my life, but the lives of those standing in front of my barrel. She had tears in her eyes and her pleading look begged for forgiveness. As dry as her cries were now, the emptiness shook me deeply. He stood beside her, with a look of fear and that certain plea for mercy.

"You don't want this. You don't have to do this." She sobbed softly, the tears already finding their way into her light beige blouse. I straightened up as much as I could, wanting to be on top of things but hesitating at the same moment.

"I... I still love you." She spoke again, as if trying to take control of my feelings. Indeed, my hand shook. I took a deep breath. In that moment, everything I had to go through because of them flashed before my eyes. And yet, I still lowered my hands and looked at their terrified faces. "Maybe they'll change." I thought.

He walked closer beside her and the same feeling of pain and betrayal hit me again. I raised my hands against them again and this time I didn't hesitate for a second. I felt my fingers lightly stroking the trigger, waiting for all hell to break loose. I was burning with pain and felt my breath slowly being taken away. When at that tiny moment something or someone caressed my arm.

Was it me in some form? Or was it some entity that sensed the situation I was in. I felt a touch on my arms when the moment my fingers touched, I shot up. He fell to the ground with her scream. In the void I watched his body fall. Now it was her turn. Her lazy eyes pleaded with me and her body went to her knees. Not anymore. She had enough time to change everything, she didn't grab onto him. My body had so many burns already, it was clear I couldn't take this damage anymore.

"I've been here for you, long enough." I uttered, pulling the trigger again without hesitation. Both bodies were now lying in a pool of their own blood on the cold dirt. It didn't end there, I smiled. For the first time, I could breathe without the tyrants of the past putting a noose on my future. The last step was a weak flaming creature taking the place of the beast as it began to devour that space.

I put another body next to the two lying, cold bodies. Some poor things just to feel like I was gonna burn with them. Together in my clothes, with my papers, my life so far burned. I made a quick exit. I knew I wouldn't visit this place again. Along with my actions, the heat took everything and I, a nobody, set out on my new path in life.

I disappeared from everyone's life, not to say I wasn't sorry to leave everything I had behind. But there was no other way to do it, I had to burn the book because its chapters were more like forced labor than life. It wasn't fair to put so many scars on a body that had barely recovered. So many steps that led to falls made me think, it wasn't the plan to make such a theatrical performance but the fiery curtain of the old ending gave it all a purity or the ashes went to heaven.

I was far enough away to sit down and stretch my stiff neck. Silence reigned everywhere and just at that moment it happened, I heard myself laughing again. I laughed, it was because I could breathe again and no one was watching my every move.

After a moment of relaxation, I did, however, think. I hesitated, but who was it that reached out and reassured me of my actions. I have no idea, but it was nice to have someone on my side who gave me the inner courage to finish this aria. I looked up at the sky where the stars were beginning to appear and little fireflies playing tag were shining in my face.

What shall we choose now? What life will we set in motion.. this was the new unsmelled book that was opening in the beating of my young though scarred heart. I stood up and stretched my stiff neck. I walked out towards the town nearby just to buy something to wear so I could disappear forever.