Girl Boss

That Panini Sandwich

Alexis gave one last furious look at her reflection in the restaurant mirror and barely held in a scream. Here she was, again, in a Burger King bathroom, crying as she had once again failed to attempt a fast. She didn't want to eat anything but hadn't realized that she had. And it didn't even go noticed by her. It was another painful reminder that did.

It all started that night when her mother, driving the family car with only she and her older brother in it, decided to stop by a Burger King restaurant to 'grab a bite', as she (her mother) had referred to. "You would love that, right honey?" she turned to Alexis, in the passenger's seat, with a smile. 

But Alexis did not like that smile at all. It seemed too passive-aggressive to her, the way her mother had turned to her specifically, as if Alexis were a little kid. Her brother was in the back seat, silently on his phone. Why hadn't she asked him instead? Or both of them at the same time?

She just shrugged it off, squirming into her sweater against the passenger's seat door and mentally bracing herself for the rush of anxiety that would engulf her when she walked into the restaurant. She just wished she could stay in the car. All those imaginary eyes on her seared into her flesh, not leaving a mark on her flesh, but a mark on her self-esteem.

The car pulled into the parking lot and her mother found a good spot to park in. Alexis slowly pushed open the car door and jumped down.

There it was, the jiggling of her legs when she landed on the ground made her shiver more than the cold did. Her legs didn't jiggle like that before, so it was another sign that she had gained weight. Again. What the heck was she doing at Burger King, then?

She brushed herself down to make sure her sweater was covering her ass and at least a bit of her thighs. The three of them made their way to the entrance of the building.

The light of the interior blinded her. She felt a little dizzy but came to her senses by the feeling of her mother's arm around her shoulder. Here the feeling was again, of searing eyes all over her body. Then she suddenly felt like an elephant in the room.

"Don't worry, honey, you can order anything you want," her mother whispered to her as they all made their way up to the ordering counter, making her cringe internally.

Alexis glanced up at the menu, images of each food item labelled brightly on the board. Of course, today would not be a day of embarrassment for her, so she would choose the healthiest item she could find. That's when her eyes landed on a particular sandwich, one filled with green lettuce, tomatoes, and what looked like white chicken. Filled with mostly greens. That would be the one for tonight.

"I want the... panini sandwich, please."

The waiter gave her a strange look and nodded, typing in the order.

"Take-away, please," her mother added when all orders were placed. "It's too late to be eating here at this time of day."

They all waited at the ordering counter to get their food, and Alexis quickly decided to take a brief look around.

Her eyes lingered past people eating at tables, the windows, and then... somebody she recognized.

She went totally stiff.

Outside, beside the entrance door, a girl with blue hair wearing a toque and a cigarette in hand leaned against the wall, facing into the building. Alexis immediately recognized her as Jessicah, one of the many girls at her school that made her life a living nightmare. And the worst thing was that they made eye contact.

Jessicah's face immediately brightened up into a surprised smirk as soon as she saw her. Alexis quickly turned away, in a cold sweat, and behind her at the entrance, Jessicah had pulled out her phone and took a single picture of Alexis' back profile, and immediately posted it on her friends' group chat.

* LMAO look where I found the fatty this night!

* #fat #ugly #heavyweight #obesity #burgerking👑

Finally, their food was placed on the counter in nylon bags for them to carry away, but Alexis already felt the tears streaming down from her face. She couldn't cry in public, so she tried sucking it in and turned to her mother.

"I need to use the bathroom, excuse me for a second," and she turned away and speedwalked into the Womens' bathroom, leaving her mother and brother confused behind her.

Alexis shut the door gently and walked over to the mirror to look at herself.

And here she was in the beginning, in a Burger King bathroom, glaring at her own reflection. Her sweater didn't even hide the visible weight gain that she had recently. How had she become like this? Her ordering a panini sandwich didn't even help. Tomorrow would be even worse, because she knew for a fact that Jessicah must have, somehow, found a way to embarrass her at school again, causing her to become the usual laughing stock.

After crying and wiping her tears, she made her way out of the bathroom and reunited with her mother and brother.

"Where did you go?" her brother, almost six feet tall and towering above her, asked calmly, his hands in his jacket pocket.

"Nowhere," she replied. "Let's go now."

They all made their way to the entrance-exit, and Alexis paused, thinking Jessicah would still be there. But she wasn't, so she took a sigh of relief and continued walking.

Finally, the anxiety was over. They were all in the car now, and she was shielded from the nerve-wreck of being in public. Their food was placed in the backseat, beside her brother, and her mother pulled the car out of the driveway. Alexis squirmed into her sweater, against the car door again, and closed her eyes.

She would enjoy that reasonably healthy panini sandwich later.