~Two and half years earlier~
"This is good for us," the words came out of her mouth as if she meant that their time away could save their marriage, when they both knew that just wasn't the case.
It was best for them to separate, for good. They wanted different things and it had become more obvious after they'd started their family. She felt like he wasn't ready to grow up and be a father, while he felt like she was trying to push them into an early retirement.
He wasn't ready to get old and she was tired of living like they were still at an age where it was acceptable to party every weekend.
"Stevie," He was standing in their bedroom, hands in his pockets as his eyes followed her every move.
He was at a loss for words, watching her fold her clothes and set them in her suitcase. She had told him that she was leaving for Paris and she was taking the kids with her. She needed time and he needed the chance to live out whatever it was he was still searching for.
It was almost vital for them to be apart in order to find the happiness that their were longing for, because it was obvious that they weren't finding it together.
"I can't make you happy, Stevie." He was tired of it. He was so fed up with trying to get along with her, because everything he did, upset her in some way or another.
Looking up from the pile of clothes, she rolled her eyes softly. "You don't try," she stated, not afraid to tell him how she really felt.
In her opinion, he wasn't a great husband, not at the time. He used to be better- he used to want more out of life than sitting in a studio, passing around a handle of booze and flirting with all the women that walked through the door. He wasn't the man she fell in love with and her biggest fear was that he'd never be that guy again.
She didn't want to live out the rest of her days walking on eggshells and trying to hide his drinking from their children. The kids were better off not knowing him at all, rather than growing attached to a man that wasn't really their father. She didn't ever want those children to know a "drunk dad."
"Bullshit!" He shouted, flinging his hands out to his side to show his frustration.
"This.... this is what I'm talking about." She motioned to his outburst, not enthused with his behavior, ever. "We can't do this to each other forever." She repeated the same words she'd been telling herself for longer than she could recall.
"I haven't tried to make you happy?" He scoffed, "I bust my ass for you to sit around here all day, watching fucking cartoons and making grilled cheese sandwiches." He regretted saying that as soon as it came out of his mouth... If he wanted to save his marriage, calling her lazy was definitely not the way.
Nodding her head gently, her heart began to pound in her chest. "I deserve better than this and you deserve whatever it is that can make your bitter heart happy."
~~~~
Chewing down on her lower lip, she pulled herself back into reality.
A divorce. He came all the way across the world to ask her for a divorce.
"I know this isn't ideal, but I figured-"
"You have a lot of courage, Lindsey." She cut him off, not prepared for all the rambling that would eventually follow his sentence.
She knew what he was going to say- probably the same thing every man that's ever wanted to leave his wife says... "I figured this could make us both happy and we could start over with a life that's better fit for our needs." Or something along those lines, even though she knew that Lindsey would never be that poetic, but his gibberish would flow somewhat similar in terms of explanation.
"Steph, this isn't easy for me." It wasn't, but it also didn't feel like it was the end of the world by any means either.
Smirking softly, she was left truly stunned. How could he tell her that it wasn't easy? He had spent the last years of their marriage running wild while she stayed behind, picking up the broken pieces and trying to glue them back together. Yet it was hard on him.
"We've been standing here for almost ten minutes and you haven't even asked about my kids." She knew what had she said- she knew that she had referred to them as her children, because they were.
He let out a deep sigh, his breath being visible in the brisk breeze. "It's hard for me to talk about them." That was a pathetic excuse, but that's all he could conjure up, because as ridiculous as it sounded, it was still true.
The fact that he didn't really know his kids hurt him, but not like it would have hurt Stevie if the tables were turned. She would have done anything for those children and she just felt like Lindsey didn't understand that kind of love could even exist.
She grew quiet for a long moment, eyes still locked with his as her mind worked fast.
She couldn't wrap her head around the fact that he was standing there, on the curb in Paris just days before Christmas, asking her to end their marriage... Something she would have fought hard to save five years earlier.
And as much as she wanted to run back into the house, throw a weeks worth of clothes into a bag and fly to LA to end their relationship, she knew that just wasn't right. That wasn't how they were supposed to leave things- that's not how it was supposed to be.
She didn't like what she was about to say, not at all, but she also knew that she would never rest comfortably if she hadn't tried one last time.
"I'm not signing anything until you at least try to get to know those kids."
