Insecure~Taekook

The year of dissappointments

~Taehyung

The smell of my hometown on top of the mountains. This small village with around 1000 regular residents.
The school year was hard. My girlfriend left me for another man. But in the end, it is not like I was that loyal to her anyway.
I never cheated on Jennie, but I was in love with Min Yoongi. He is the "good for nothing" bad boy of our hometown. I had a secret crush on him for years.
Untill today.

"OMG TAEHYUNG IS THAT YOU?"
"J-Jimin??"
"OMG I MISSED YOU TO DEATH!" Jimin screams as he hugs me.
"Jimin", I cry silently as I wrap my arms around him.
Jimin is my bestfriend, my platonic soulmate.
"So how is love life going?" Jimin questions.
"Jennie broke up with me", I admit. I didn't love her, but I liked spending time with her. She left me for another dude. It just made me feel..... insecure and like I was not good enough for her.
"You have gained a little weight", Jimin says as he squeezes my butt.
I blush end look away. "I ate a lot of icecream after the breakup. That was supposed to help",
I lie.
In reality I ate icecream every damn day. I tried to escape my feeling of loneliness.
I looked at Jimin from head to toe. He looked amazing. I was jealous.
"And how is your love life doing?" I ask.
"Well do you remember my ex boyfriend Jung Hoseok?"
I nodd. So Hoseok became an ex.
"Well do you remember his cousin Min Yoongi? Becouse him and I are dating now", Jimin tells.

Auch

I put on my fake smile.
Thank God I am a good actor. I tried to hold back my tears.
"H-How serious is the relationship?" I ask.
"We just had sex last night", Jimin wispers to my ear.
My throat hurts, my heart hurts and I feel like crying, but I won't cry, not infront of Jimin.
"C-congratulations. If he hurts you, I'll kill him", I say quietly.
I say goodbye to Jimin and go to my mothers house.
And I cry a river.

It is not Jimins faulth. I have no right to be mad at him. I guess I am just jealous.
The jealousy is gone and replased with anger.

WHY AM I NOT GOOD GOR ANYONE

I AM NOT GOOD ENOUGH

And I cry a lake.

And things were about to get even worse.

I can only thank god that Yoongi is not in the town this year. Jimin told me that he had to leave this morning for a concert.
Our old crew got back together.
Me Jimin, Hoseok, Seokjin and one man who I don't recognize.
"Who are you again?" I ask the man.
"I am Kim Namjoon. Don't you remember me?" He asks me.
Ofcourse I remember Namjoon. He has grown to be a handsome man. He looks great. Probably works out everyday.

We played football (soccer) in the field and then went to eat icecream. When everyone was about to pay Namjoon screams. "OH NOUU MY WALLET! Everyone I lost my wallet!" Namjoon cries.
Nobody really cares.
"I can help you look for your wallet", I suggest. He smiles at me and we start walking. "Uuuuuuuuuuuu", the rest wistle.

The football field has no light just the moon and the stars.
"That one there is Orion's belt and that one there is the starfigure of Sagitarius", Namjoon tells.
"You know starfigures? I ask him. "Yeah I studied astrofysics in college, so anything space related is my obsession", Namjoon tells.
Yes he is a few years older than me. We talk about random topics, mostly college.
A future with Yoongi, what a joke. He would probably just drown himself on alcohol.
I am going to be a motherfucking doctor in a year.
Next year I will get my doctors degree. I should date someone on my level. Yes maybe a future with someone like Namjoon would be...... nice.
I smile.

The next day we all walk together. Hoseok and Seokjin walk infront. Me, Namjoon and Jimin walk in the back.
"Pst Taehyung! Come here", Seokjin says. I take a few fast steps and reatch them.
"Don't be a cock blocker", Hoseok says. I raise an eyebrow. "What do you mean?" I question.
"Namjoon has a crush on Jimin", Seokjin tells.
...........
Again I am trying to hold my tears.
"Yeah he said to me that he wants to kiss Jimin", Hoseok tells.
"Hey you are Jimin's bestfriend right? Has he said anything to you about Namjoon?" Seokjin asks.
"No, he has a boyfriend", I state.
"Yeah, but Yoongi is not around", Hoseok blurts.
"Just how do you guys see Jimin? He has a boyfriend. God Hoseok Yoongi is your cousin",
"Well the Jimin we know would definedly cheat", Seokjin says.
"What do you mean?" I question.
"He cheated on me with Seokjin", Hoseok tells.
........
So Jimin has literally went around the whole group.
"Ahm I am kind of tired. I will go home I have a flight to France tomorrow",
"But didn't you say that you were going to stay here for a month?" Seokjin questions.
"I have a lot of studying to do. You know the life of a medic student", I tell.
Then I just.... run

Run as fast as the wind no care in the world.
And the tears are free.
I sit on a bench. I hold my knees.

I was not good enough for Jennie.
I was not good enough for Yoongi.
I was not good enough for Namjoon.
I am the only one in our group who Jimin hasn't had a thing with.
Hoseok nor Seokjin who would fuck anything that walks didn't even spare a glance at me.
Then all the sadness is gone.
There is only anger left inside of me. Yes I am bitter. They say a man is happy when he has money and love. Soon I will have tons of money. But maybe love wasn't meant for me.
"Hey fattass, what are you crying", someone on a moto laughs as he stops before me.
"THIS BODY IS NORMAL IN EUROPE!" I scream. "whatever ugly no one will ever want you", the boy laughts.

Am I ugly?
Am I fat?

Is that why nobody wants me?

Jimin has a great body.
Is that why everyone wants him?

No one will ever love me eh?

Author:

So in this au Taehyung has like a normal european body. European boys are a bit chubbu compared to the boys in Korea.