Chapter 32: Blue Rose

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I glanced at the royal blue dress, hanging on the wall which Taehyung has gotten trailored for me while nervously nibbling on my lower lip and walking up and down the room.

I ran a frustrated hand through my hair while walking, after crying my eyes out the whole night until the sun started rising and my sobs led me into my sleep, I felt uneasy, almost at the verge of throwing up.

Only 3 hours were left until the grand masquerade

And only 7 more hours until midnight,
my heart sank deeper while hammering painfully inside my chest, it feels suffocating I can't breathe, I can't eat and I can't sleep, whatever I do hurts, whatever I think of hurts and wherever I look at hurts.

Why ?! Why did everything slipped into this downfall just when it started to bloom into something so magical.

I was crazy about him, I loved him with every limb and every breath and the thought of something happening to him is pushing me into my own death, and leaving him in order to save his life turns my body into a shaking mess.

I wanted to scream, scream my lungs out

The painful lump was scratching my throat almost screaming at me to let the tears fall but I was afraid, afraid that Taehyung would sense that something was going on.

I couldn't break his heart, I couldn't.. not when I promised him to trust him, but this time I couldn't.

Forgive me my love

I bit on my trembling lips and gasped when the door to my room suddenly opened and
Jugyeong stepped in.

"What are you doing Y/n? Get ready" She clapped her hands but frown when she saw the awful state I was in.

"Aren't you feeling well Y/n?" The lump inside my throat was burning and I had to fight my tears even harder back after she asked me the question I would rather run away from.

I've never thought that my decision to become her handmaiden in order to find the little door would turn her into a friend I don't want to lose anymore, our bond has turned into something so special and unique that the thought of leaving her breaks my heart even more, we would spent nights on her balcony talking and laughing about everything, she would sneak out of her room when Prince Byungsu fell asleep only to sneak into my room and listen to the everything what has happened between Taehyung and I.

She had sensed it from the very beginning that something was about to develop between him and I and after our first night that changed my entire life in a way I only could dream of, I couldn't hide my flushed cheeks and wide smile from her, I couldn't hide my nervousness and shaking hands around her whenever he would appear and teasingly catch my stares while talking to Jugyeong.

I thought she would ban me from the castle and do anything in order to keep me away from her brother, the King, but this wasn't the case.
She told me that the afternoon when she opened up about their painful past, she gave us her agreement.

I shook my head when suddenly a sob which I held back with all my strength escaped my trembling lips along with heavy tears.

"Oh my." Her eyes widened before immediately pulling me gently inside her embrace and caressing my hair.

"Let it out" She said calmly while I shut my eyes and let the tears float.

After crying for a few minutes in her arms until I calmed down and wiped my tears away while sniffling she looked at me with a worried expression.

I took a deep breath, my breath was shaking while looking into her eyes which reminded me of him and increased the pain inside my chest.

"Is it Taehyung?" She asked while tilting her head to the side and wiping a tear of mine away.

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