Flawed and Tainted

CHAPTER 6. Sorry

Violet

For my 10th birthday, my parents gave me a white rabbit with dark spots. He was to be killed after spring but would serve as a temporary pet to me. If I was able to take good care of it during the time it lived, they would get me another animal to keep and love. It's quite obvious though; a 10 year old quickly grows attached to cute furry things, the rabbit slowly making his way into my heart. I gave him food, petted him everyday, and played with him. I even gave him a silly little name, "Chess".

Slaughter day came sooner than expected. Before I knew it, townspeople came to our house to collect Chess for the kill. I tried to hide him by telling a premeditated lie, in hopes of saving his life and keeping him. I told them the rabbit had escaped and I couldn't find him. I even prepared a plan in case they didn't believe me. Strangely enough, they didn't really care about any of it and gave in easily. They left the house empty handed, not asking any questions.

A few days passed, the rabbit hidden in my room. One night however, he somehow made his way out and roamed the house while my family and I peacefully slept in our rooms.

Then the accident happened.

I was woken up by the smell of smoke and shouts outside our house. I rapidly incorporated myself, becoming aware of the fire that was slowly but eagerly spreading through every corner; doors, wardrobe, hallway... I stupidly tried my best to find Chess, not wanting to leave him behind, but it was all useless. I didn't find him. Not before a man, one of the townspeople, came into my room, through the fire, to get me out. That dark starless night marked an inflection, a change.

It was found out that the accident had taken place in my parents room. And the rabbit happened to be the one who started the fire by bumping into a candle. None of these made it out of the house in time. Not the parents I loved so dearly, the ones who had raised me and cared for me throughout my whole childhood, neither the rabbit I tried so desperately to save from the slaughter.

It had all been a huge selfish mistake. I knew the rabbit would have to be sacrificed eventually, but I ignored my parents' instruction and still tried to save it. I thought the life or death of a small rabbit wouldn't matter. That days would go on with their course, as they had up until now. However, that did not happen. Butterfly effect they called it. A small incident that can have huge, unimaginable consequences. A stupid little rabbit had defied the laws of life and had stepped in to change my whole world.

I learned a lesson that night, that nature always wins and you lose, no matter how much effort you put into avoiding it. It's just how things are. Everyone and everything has a time, and you can't go around it.

Instead of giving up, however, the incident gave me an odd "strength". If life didn't want me, I would make it have no choice but to accept me. Even if I couldn't escape my fate forever, I could -with either courage or stubbornness- keep trying to dodge it and run away from it, until it finally caught me. After all, I had nothing to lose anymore.

***

After the festival ended there was still no sign of the White savior they were all looking for. The atmosphere however was sure tense. People quickly became even more impatient. Louder as well. It was said rebellions were rising near the darkness borders, in an attempt to pressure the so-called guardians, the people who were to hunt me down.

I hadn't talked much to him after what had happened at the celebration. Our small chat made me realize I had entered the dragon's den on my own accord without even realizing it. The determining factor being socializing with people that were partly responsible for my life being so messed up. Our daily conversations before the festival were already quite short most of the time; greeting each other as he entered the shop to ask for a certain kind of flower and me handing it over to him before saying goodbye. Nevertheless, they felt warm. Whatever words we exchanged now, couldn't even be considered a conversation.