Jean Harnett

Chapter 35: Emotional wreck

Jean was amazed at how easily she could lie to Craig when she called him later. Well, it wasn't lying, but it wasn't exactly telling the truth, either. She was aware of talking, but she had no real idea what she said to him. Craig seemed satisfied, though, and she realized that he was mainly concerned with her welfare.

Had he known about her emotional state, he would've been highly solicitous. But she didn't have the energy to explain the situation to him. Not tonight. Maybe next week. Maybe never.

A bitter lesson taught, a bitter lesson learned. She was wiser, but she doubted if Robert Cramer was. Maybe sadder, but no wiser.

What also surprised her was how calm she stayed. Her world had fallen apart and left her with a sour taste in her mouth, but she felt dead inside.

Jean hoped that the cold anger consuming her would insulate and numb her through this final leave taking. If she was lucky, reality would not set in until she was far beyond Woodstock and Robert Cramer. What she would then do about the raw pain, she had no idea.

After tossing and turning half the night, Jean slept late the next morning. Then she moped around her apartment and told herself to get busy.

She munched on nothing nutritious and didn't care if all of her teeth rotted from the sugar in the empty calorie snacks she grabbed in passing. All that gained her was a dull headache and a stomach that was not contended.

She knew that a healthy breakfast would restore her energy, but she was obstinate enough not to follow her own sound advice. She rubbed her temples while the low-grade headache hummed behind her eyeballs.

At last, she downed a cup of strong coffee, and the caffeine perked her up enough to see to the necessary chores of her packing. She would not let herself think of her farewell with Cramer yesterday. That was in the past. Onward and upward.

The pep talk helped. And probably the caffeine from the coffee. Whatever it was, it finally got her moving in a productive manner. She started to organize and actually saw some progress.

"Here, Mrs. D. You might as well take these eggs and lunch meat and milk. They'd be spoiled by the time I got back home with them, anyway."

"Thank you, dear. I'll just pop them into the frig. What's the matter?" she asked as she watched Jean close her eyes and rub the back of her neck. "Got a headache?"

"Yes," Jean mumbled. "I guess this last week has been too emotional, what with graduation, a tornado, and everything else."

"Why don't you rest for a few minutes? You have all day to get home. I'm leaving shortly for Springfield, and you'll be gone by the time I return. I've enjoyed having you in my home, my dear. Come visit me anytime.

I do wish you were returning next year, but I realize that you're anxious to move on. I wish you luck wherever you go."

"Oh, Mrs. D., I'll never forget you!" Jean embraced her. "You've been like a second mother to me."

Mrs. Doubleday gave her a sweet smile. "And you've been like a daughter. Go on now and finish your packing. I'll see you in a few weeks at your sister's wedding. Oh, here's my ride! Bye, now, dear!" And she was gone in a flurry of skirts and door banging.

Jean smiled thinly as she boxed a few books. Dear Mrs. Doubleday. She hated goodbyes, too.

Oh, bother, now who can that be? she thought after she heard the knock.

Jean smoothed her stretch pants and matching knit shirt, opened the door, and found Robert Cramer standing there, his eyes cautious and watchful.

"What do you want?" she asked in frosty tones.