Let It Out

Part 4

Caleb gulped and looked up from his hands. Damian was looking at him with a guilty and concerned expression, expecting an answer. He wiped away the stray tears that somehow managed to escape out of him.

"I'm fine." Caleb said, trying to regain his composure. He acted like he was just fine and still mad at Damian for spying on him. "I don't want to talk about it." He finished, then stood up and finished packing his things. Damian sat up and said, "No offense, but I think you're lying to yourself just as much as you trying to lie to me. You look like you want to have an hourlong conversation. Not with me specifically, but it just looks like you're keeping things and it's becoming a burden to you."

Caleb was taken aback by Damian's perceptiveness. His words were close to what Caleb was exactly feeling. He sighed again then looked to the floor. Damian patted Caleb's seat, beckoning him to sit down again. Caleb followed and set his bag down beside him, "Yeah... I guess you're right..."

Damian asked patiently, "So, I'll start light. Why don't you want others to know you can sing? And amazingly, might I add." You'll start lightly huh? Caleb thought sourly. He took in a few deep breaths and looked into Damian's eyes. He looked trustworthy enough for Caleb to confide in him his fears and anxieties.

Caleb answered, "Well... I guess I just prefer to sing alone...?" Damian just gave him a skeptical look. Caleb yielded and said, "Fine, I just don't want others to judge me, or give me any kind of attention, good or bad. It's embarrassing, like SO embarrassing I might die if anyone found out." Damian commented bluntly, "Well, I found out, and you're not dead."

Caleb laughed softly at this, "Yeah, I guess so." Damian said after a moment of awkward silence, "So you have stage fright? Is that also why you don't want others to hear you?" Caleb shook his head wildly, "No no no no. I'll do a report in front of class any day. But with performing, especially singing.... I just avoid it at all costs."

"Mhhhm" Damian said in an interested tone. They sat there in silence for a while. Caleb was thinking a jumbled bunch of thoughts, while Damian seemed to look like he was trying to solve a complicated math problem in his head. After an agonizingly long two minutes, in Caleb's eyes of course, Damian snapped his fingers. His face lit up and he said confidently to Caleb, "Sing for me."

Caleb looked at Damian like he asked him to bring him the whole sun on a giant silver platter.

"WHAT?" Caleb exclaimed, his face getting red again. Damian explained, "Well, if you have trouble singing in front of a crowd, try singing in front of just one person." Caleb became flustered, "How does that help? In fact, the real question is: Why are you helping me? Even if I somehow managed to sing in front of a crowd, I still won't join your talent show."

Damian waved his hand dismissively at him, "This isn't about the talent show anymore. It's about helping you." "I don't need help." Caleb replied crossly. Damian just gave him a sympathetic smile. Caleb didn't need help. He didn't want help. Not with school work or chores and most certainly not with his shy singing.

"I know you love to sing, but you being afraid of people's judgement keeps you from doing what you love. It's eating away at you, I can see that now. So come on, at least try singing in front of me. We'll start from there."

Caleb looked at Damian with scared eyes. Maybe he's right. I guess I can sing in front of just one person. He closed his eyes and steadied his breathing. Then he said, "If I'm gonna sing in front of you, I need you to promise me something." Damian nodded, "Of course, anything."

Caleb continued, "Promise me that whatever you hear will be between us. You won't tell anyone about it. Not even about my so-called singing talent." Damian snorted, "Oh it's a talent alright, a really great one. Sure, I promise not to speak a word of this to anyone."