These Barren Lands

Chapter 10

An indeterminable amount of time passes as we cross that infinite stretch of water between the beach and Eero's ship. At the base of the giant structure, a set of ropes has been lowered. Magnus ties the pinnace into place and then knocks on the solid wood twice. A ladder drops from the heavens.

"You first," Eero says to his guard, chest rumbling beneath my rib cage.

If Magnus responds, I can't see or hear it. The pinnace shifts slightly as he stands, takes the ladder, and climbs it, his pack rattling from the slow motion.

When the row boat stops rocking, Eero shifts his hand away from the back of my knees and pushes me away from him. I flop uselessly onto the seat across from him. He holds my shoulders, steadying me as I threaten to fall backwards.

I'm trembling from the raw anger still coursing through my body. How could he have just left him behind? I thought we were friends. Do friends abandon each other's dead parents like that? Finn never would have.

Glaring across at him, I hiss, "I hate you." It comes out small but powerful—like a tiny man o' war. Every syllable is lethal.

Pity coats Eero's face, and that makes my fury rage hotter. His mouth is pulled into a tight line; his jaw is clenched. Even his eyebrows are pulled together in concern. I want to smack it off him. I could, and no one would blame me.
After a long minute, Eero sighs. "That's okay. Hate me as much as you need to, but I can't carry you up the ladder. You're going to have to climb. Is that okay?"

I weigh my options before answering him. Jumping overboard right now is valid. I'd either drown (which doesn't sound too bad right now), the ship would crush me (a brutal but, again, not undesirable death), or some merfolk would swim to my rescue. That last event is a bit of a stretch, considering I just got the king of Vandya killed.

Zula's men are probably storming the palace right now. Is he sitting on Papa's throne already? Have the statues been broken? The stained glass windows shattered? Are the library books being torn to shreds? I can't imagine two men like Jett and Lott enjoying a book by moonlight. What will remain of the place I call home when I return?

More importantly—will there even be a home when I return?

No one is going to come and save me. If I fall overboard right now and don't die, the thing that snatches me up will be my enemy.

I may want to die, but not at their hands.

"I'll climb," I finally say, looking back at Eero. A sad look crosses his face, and he lets go of his shoulders. His hands linger as I push out of my seat, grab the rope ladder, and hoist myself up.
The climb itself isn't bad, but every rung away from the ocean feels like another notch being taken out of my heart. The gold stretches tight, clinging to me while not wanting to leave the proximity of the water. Eventually, it snaps and rushes to stay with me. I wonder if it knows just how much I need it. Does it pity me too?
Who even cares? As long as I still have Her, I have a shred of hope left.

I pull myself over the edge of the ship and scramble into a standing position. Hurriedly stepping out of Eero's way, I wrap my arms around myself and wait. Where do I go? Not back to the storage-closet-slash-bedroom I shared with Finn. I couldn't bear to bed down with his ghost nagging me over this colossal failure. There isn't another room on this ship meant for me, though.

Maybe I'll sleep on the deck with the crow's nest watchman.

That wouldn't be so bad. I can pretend it's a night spent in Mama's grotto.

The noise of the crew in the morning might bother me, though. They tend to be... rowdy...
A thick fog of silence settles over me. There's not a single sound, other than the water hitting the sides of the ship. My own breaths echo between wooden barrels and coils of rope. Slowly, scared of what I'll find, I lift my chin. My stomach and heart drop simultaneously.
A dozen crew members stand frozen on the deck. Pale faces stare across the expanse at me, jaws locked shut in horror. Tools are locked mid-job; sails stopped mid-rise.