In The End? I Love You.

Electric Heart

As Stone's lips pressed against hers, Starry froze.

Time seemed to slow to a crawl as she felt the warmth of his lips against her own. Her mind was reeling, thoughts racing at a million miles a second. She felt as if she could run and not stop until she reached the Dragonlands.

Was this moment happening?

Was Stone River... Kissing her?

As the realization set in, a wave of conflicting emotions swept through Starry's body. Fear, surprise, and panic as Stone had taken control. The sensation on his lips sent her breath catching in her throat, it felt like she was choking and the sound that escaped the space between them was short and desperate.

To her thanks, Stone was the first to pull away, staring at her with pleading eyes that she couldn't read. If she could read him, would she have been able to see this coming? As Stone moved away, he watched her, eyes filled with worry and what looked like confusion.

Why had he pulled away?

"Starry-" Stone spoke up softly ", I'm sorry."

Starry took a step back, her eyes filling with tears that she couldn't explain. Was he watching her eyes? Or her lips? She couldn't tell. The urge to run away was growing stronger and stronger by the second. She could not let herself get hurt again.

Not by Stone.

But Stone was not Hoverstep.

As Starry backed away from him, Stone took a steady step forward, placing his wing on her shoulder. The look of concern on his face as he studied her only grew more worried and sad.

"Starry-" He said gently ", Look at me. It's okay. I won't hurt you. I would- I could never hurt you."

He waited a moment for her to look back at him, his body language softening. He meant what he said, Starry could see that. He wasn't going to hurt her, but the fear was too great. Starry shook her head, staring at the ground instead of the stallion, and she took a step back.

To his credit, he did not follow her.

Starry turned and burst through the door of his apartment and sprinted toward the stairs, her breath grew in sharp rasps and gasps. Tears stung and burned at her eyes as Starry gasped for air, sucking in a breath and letting out a wail of pain she couldn't describe.

Starry tried to scream, but no sound came out, all she could do was slink against a wall and let out a sob. Stone, she had left Stone in that apartment with dinner and his thoughts. He deserved so much better than that, she knew that.

But he had kissed her.

While he had kissed her, all she could feel was guilt, wracking her body in shivers and shakes. Why had he kissed her? Why hadn't she kissed him back? The thought of kissing him had never really registered with her and yet, deep down, she had to admit that she liked it. Part of her wanted to show that same affection that he had just shown her.

But she had been too scared.

What was wong with her to make her so afraid?

Of course, she already new the answer to that. The only other stallion that Starry had kissed was Hoverstep, and what had he done to her? Nothing but break her heart. When he kissed her, Hoverstep made her feel like she was the only mare in the world, but in his eyes? She wouldn't be. To Hoverstep, there would always be other mares that could give him what he wanted.

And Starry was not that.

But Stone.

Stone was not Hoverstep, she knew that, and that somehow made things harder. She would not let that past trauma turn away someone who cared about her. It was cruel to do so, even if it was unintentional. And yet the guilt that sat in the center of Starry's stomach could only grow as she thought about it.

Would Stone River abandon her too? Was her reaction to his kiss enough to drive him away from her? Did Hoverstep once again ruin a good thing for her? She thought about telling Stone the whole truth, about the foal, how Hoverstep had left her at the hospital and that was why her family had abandoned her. But would he see her as broken?

Damaged?

If he abandoned her because of what had happened with Hoverstep, it would only confirm the worst suspicions in her mind. That she was broken, that Starry was unwanted and unworthy of love. 

That she was destined to be abandoned, over and over again.

That thought only made the fear worse, she was alone and afraid, and desperately needed somepony. Her mind rushed to think of someone, anyone, when she thought of Plaket and how comforting she had been when Starry had spent time with her. It was hard to admit, but she needed help. 

And facing Stone like this?

After what she had just done to him?

That guild was far too consuming and she didn't want to hurt him anymore.

So, Starry stood, brushing herself off with one hoof and her magic, before starting to Plaket's apartment. She walked slowly, keeping her head down and her blurry eyes half closed. It was one of the worse walks of her life, with the beautiful moon shining through the windows and guiding her path and the guilt to someone else's door.

Starry stopped in front of Plaket's door, dim light shining out from under it and enlightening her hooves. She took a deep shuddering breath before raising her hoof and knocking on the door. There was the sound of a clatter, a set of giggles, and then the sound of the door being opened.

The mare glanced up and was almost caught off guard by the lunacorn in front of her. The mare was dappled with patches of orange, yellow, and black, with a long sheet of pastel orange hair that Starry had never seen before. The mare must have been taken as off guard as Starry, because she started and glanced around, looking as if she were searching for a better answer.

Starry sniffled slightly, shaking her head as a new set of tears streamed from her eyes, "I'm sorry- Is Plaket home?"