Shorts: A Collection Of Utter Nonsense

Gangster Frogs

[Unfinished & Unedited]

CHAPTER 1

Towards humans we always felt like cruel monsters among them; we had to steal from their kind to survive. Although we're much smaller in size, we found many ways of getting our sticky fingers...or tongues around things we wanted or needed.

We're frogs, yes... your normal everyday frogs that live by the river. Before you ask: No, other animals don't talk; At least not nearly as well as we do. Us frogs are among the more intelligent of all beings.

Occasionally we're forced to act as dumb as the rest but we get what we need and get out of sight. We're sort of like your neighborhood blond chick that's ready to leave when your wallet runs dry, exept we don't stick around to kiss you we just take what we're after in one go.

"Jaguar, pass me my gun. stop the car." our gang leader sat in the front seat of an old rusty white van and motioned to the driver. "STOP THE CAR!" he said again, and the van jerked forward as the driver slammed on the brakes. "I see a few bags by those chairs on the beach, I'm sure they've got a wallet."

I was in the back with our weaponry so I scrambled to grab him his gun and his mask before he'd start yelling at me next. We all wore funky animal face masks and called each other by them as code names.

Our leader thought that if the humans saw us it could be good to disguise ourselves as something dumber than ourselves, but very quickly that was proven untrue. Our leader was just too stubborn to make a change in tradition. In fact our pack was one of the most commonly caught in the act solely for not blending in, but I had to follow my orders. Our leader's mask was a white tiger.

"Here's your stuff, do you want me to come with you? There might be more if we look around." This was only another pit stop, we were always developing plans to rob various small banks and stores. "Alright, sure! Let's blow this place up!" He nodded and loaded his gun, stepping out of the vehicle.

I threw rhino, our driver, his mask too then climbed out the back double doors. Tiger waved for me to follow his lead and we crept along the back of the beach. I could already smell the salt and felt the sand getting between my webbed toes.

Rhino sped off, kicking sand into the air and parked behind a nearby trashcan to put in action our usual plan. He would watch us closely with his binoculars and be ready if we needed a quick getaway.

As we made our way down to the beach chairs I started to panic about what would happen if our colorful masks were seen. I felt like we stood out way too much and the fact we were frogs at the beach was strange enough, but the crowded areas of umbrellas and large beach chairs kept us almost completely hidden and safe.

We ran under the beach chairs fearing the large human feet stepping near our path but we were able to avoid all of them. When we finally reached the large tote bags we jumped and knocked them over with all of our strength and body weight. Tiger found a small wallet towards the bottom of the bag and pulled ot out by his teeth.

After we popped it open, we found a couple of five's and a twenty inside. I grabbed the twenty and took off but tiger wasn't as lucky, he tried to hold two 5's in his mouth at once and tripped over a humans ankle.

"Hey, what have you got there? Look Clarissa, this frog has a little mask and pants on. I think it got into your wallet somehow." the man picked up tiger, got his wife's attention and almost made a huge scene. "Whats it doing with a little mask on? Did you do that?" Another person questioned and pointed. I wasn't sure if I should stay or run, holding the twenty in my face made it hard to see as is no talking about shooting off my tiny gun.

Just in time, rhino came racing through the sand in our toy van. "Get in!" He yelled at me and shot at the human in the foot. The man dropped tiger and he raced to the open door. After he took rhino's outstretched hand we made our way quickly back off the beach and out of sight with the thirty dollars we had collected in total.

CHAPTER 2

"That was awesome! Tiger you were almost screwed buddy." Rhino nudged him in the shoulder before tiger could even get his door closed.

"Maybe you should have been there sooner, You could have prevented it from happening at all!" It was obvious that tiger was still in a very bad mood.

When I finally got the taste of dirty money out of my mouth it was time to drag it back out of the truck again. We had a collection of everything our tribe had collected in a hidden stash under a certain bridge by the river where we all lived.

Finally it was time to take it to our leader. We all gathered around the far side of the bridge with what we had obtained in our mouths. Tiger let rhino have one of his fives to keep him out of trouble.

The leader did not like when someone would one back with either nothing or a one, these lead to strong warnings of being kicked out of the tribe. Coming back with ones 5 times in a row or nothing three times in a row lead to that very quickly.

Once the meeting got started we first heard about one of our fellow frogs being taken from us today, he was out on a mission for some spare money like the rest of us but he accidentally talked in front of a human, got caged, and would be sold to the circus to be tortured until he would talk again.

To be continued...

Thank you to Mallow on discord for the original idea of this story 😂