The Perfect Conversation.
Was sick in bed for a month with only the TV for a companion.
Doctors said I needed an immediate kidney transplant and the was no match in the hospital for the organ I needed.
I had almost lost all hope in recovering again. I would call all my loved ones and bid them so many farewells and I was most of them were tired by now.
I underwent so many dialysis that I was tired and all I wanted was for the doctors to switch off the machines. I was so tired of all the pain and all the suffering.
One day the doctor came in and told me that a donor had been found. The joy I felt then was so perfect so complete...
After my operation and my recovery, I wanted to find about my saviour my donor.
A new suit from Gucci, a hotel arrangement to be made, a perfect lunch maybe a poem or two to express my gratitude. For all I knew I was grateful to my donor.
When the day actually came to meet the donor, the nervousness I had was enough to make my head spin round and round. I wondered what I would say first.
"Hey, how you coping with one kidney?"
"Does it feel weird knowing that your kidney is in someone else's body?"
"Hi I am the guy you donated your kidney to."
No words could form in my head.
Hey, I was ready for it, weeks of planning to meet this guy and in the actual day I could'nt even form a coherent sentence in my brain.
I had read almost all the books of etiquette from cover to cover, poems oozing of gratitude written and rewritten so many times that the words were imprinted in my memory.
Geez! Actually meeting this guy was something different. I was supposed to have it all planned out. The meeting place was spic and span just the way I had arranged for it. I was ready for this, this was supposed to be my perfect conversation... Was it?
I was so nervous and I was freaking out. I was confused. My thoughts were jumbled. Damn! Maybe I forgot my own name... Nah! I remembered it...
At this moment of confusion I remember The One..
The One because of whom I walked, whose air I breathed, whose organs I used.
THE ONE because of whom I found my door.
I remembered my Lord, THE ONE with whom I had a perfect conversation each time I bowed my head in prayer.
I looked around me, my new suit the expensive buffet lunch the prestigious hotel and my head fell in shame.
HOW INGRATE IS MAN! HOW COULD I FORGET THE ONE??
A simple clean mat, clean clothes and a clean body. That's all that I need for my perfect conversation. I quickly did my ablution and fell down in prostration to my Lord.
"YA ALLAH FORGIVE THIS UNGRATEFUL SOUL! PARDON THIS FORGETFUL BEING! SHOWER ON ME YOUR OVERWHELMING MERCY! FORGIVE ME YA ALLAH FORGIVE ME! YA RABB!"
I was engulfed in such peace I had never felt before, such sweetness of faith I had never tasted before such security and tranquility that I had not felt before.
This was the pure bliss of bowing down to The Supreme Master of the worlds. I was in such contentement.
"Verily in the Remembrance of Allah do hearts find peace"
Small baby steps had I taken to HIM and...
"I am as My servant thinks (expects) I am. I am with him when he mentions Me.
If he mentions Me to himself, I mention him to Myself;
and if he mentions Me in an assembly, I mention him in an assembly greater than it.
If he draws near to Me a hand's length, I draw near to him an arm's length.
And if he comes to Me walking, I go to him at speed." Hadith Qudsi
Don't forget that He who created you can handle anything. So turn to Him in trials, depression, rejection, doubts, fears.. HE is the Most Wise.
-Mufti Ismail Menk
My Lord had been so merciful to me AR-RAHMAAN AR-RAHEEM,
HE gave me life yet I forgot
HE gave me happiness and bliss and I forgot
HE gave me trials to make me stronger yet I forgot...
How more can man be forgetful to the One?
As I finished my prayer, tears were in my eyes, my moment of reality was over and I was thrusted back into this illusion, I wiped my eyes and stood up.
Who said this was over?
My perfect conversation would continue IF HE wills it.
I stood up and went inside I was ready to meet my donor, the medium through which HE ALMIGHTY reached out to me with HIS blessings. I had only one saviour, My LORD AR-RAHMAAN AR-RAHEEM!!
Qamariyyah Abdul-latif.
